In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
These days,
a
consumption of fast Correct article usage
the
food
is becoming a widespread reason Use synonyms
of
health issues among individuals. I believe that mandating higher Change preposition
for
taxes
for Use synonyms
such
type of Linking Words
food
is viableUse synonyms
,
because it would be helpful in maintaining Remove the comma
apply
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
lifestyle
and decreasing diseases caused by it.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, Linking Words
vast
majority of people are accustomed to buying junk Add an article
the vast
food
Use synonyms
,
when they do not wish to cook or they do not have enough time to do it. Remove the comma
apply
Availability
of fast Correct article usage
The availability
food
makes residents lazier and unhealthy since they Use synonyms
do
provide only harmful nutrients Verb problem
apply
such
as sugar and fat which have detrimental effects on our Linking Words
organism
. To prevent Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
such
Linking Words
negative
impact Correct article usage
a negative
taxes
for unhealthy Use synonyms
food
ought to be higher. The higher Use synonyms
Use synonyms
taxes
are, the more citizens are likely to refuse Correct article usage
the taxes
consuming
it. Change the verb form
to consume
As a result
, the number Linking Words
diseases
like obesity would fall, bringing more opportunities to Change preposition
of diseases
enhancing
people’s well-being.
Wrong verb form
enhance
Furthermore
, if individuals Linking Words
would
chose to buy nutritious Verb problem
apply
food
or cook by themselves, they would be prone to Use synonyms
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
lifestyle
. Not until, buying junk Use synonyms
food
will be loss-making, people do keep buying them. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
be
eating highly nutritious meals consumers can boost their productivity and stay fit. Correct your spelling
by
Also
, Linking Words
this
allows people Linking Words
do
sport since it Fix the infinitive
to do
improvers
the ability of our body to accumulate energy. Replace the word
improves
For example
, in Norway, where burgers are the most expensive in the world, there Linking Words
one
of the highest Add a missing verb
is one
index
of healthiness and happiness. Change to a plural noun
indexes
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
is essential in maintaining the healthy Linking Words
lifestyle
of citizens.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
although
the increase in Linking Words
amount
of Add an article
the amount
taxes
for fast Use synonyms
food
can be unprofitable, it is vital in coping with Use synonyms
diseased
Replace the word
diseases
arose
from them and promoting Wrong verb form
arising
fit
and active Add an article
a fit
lifestyle
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support points. For instance, mention specific health campaigns or policies in countries where higher taxes on fast food have been implemented and have shown results.
task achievement
Ensure all points are thoroughly explained and elaborated upon. Some arguments could benefit from further development to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs, although coherence is generally good. Consider using a wider variety of linking phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Try to explicitly outline your position on the topic in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This helps reinforce your stance and maintain consistency throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the writer's viewpoint on the issue. It's well-stated and sets the stage for the arguments that follow.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, particularly when discussing the consequences of consuming fast food and its impact on health.