Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children's devlopment while others think that other areas such as television friends have a greater influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #influence #children #devlopment #areas #television #friends

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The

development

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of a

child

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has always been the centre of focus beside many topics, relating to that a debate has arisen surrounding the primary factor of contribution to one's

child

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's growing progress, whether it is family or other impacts. In

this

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essay, both of these ideas will be analyzed beforehand coming to a conclusion from the writer's perspective. To embark on , if we have a deep look at the assertion we will certainly be able to identify myriad reasons why communities believe family has the greatest impact on

children

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's growth . The first and foremost reason is , family is the first school of a

child

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. From the

beginning

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beginning,

show examples

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

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spend most of the time with their parents

therefore

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they get the primary lessons from their family .

Furthermore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

children's

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children

show examples

are good

observer

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observers

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

children

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observe their parents and adapt their nature and behaviour that's the reason why people believe family play

crucial

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a crucial

show examples

role in

Use synonyms

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

development

Use synonyms

More over

Correct your spelling

Moreover

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, spending time with family not only

strengthen

Correct subject-verb agreement

strengthens

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their bond but

also

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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help them

toh

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know their roots deeply . On the paradoxical side , a good number of people believe that

besides

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family other sources like

television

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or friends have

greater

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a greater

show examples

influence on

Use synonyms

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

development

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. The foremost reason is ,

Use synonyms

television

Correct word choice

that television

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Play

Correct subject-verb agreement

Plays

show examples

a part and parcel role in our lives .

Television

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provides

huge

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a huge

show examples

range of channels from all over the world which helps them to know about

the

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apply

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other cultures and traditions and

also

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lhelp

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help

helps

them to

leany

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learn

languages . To elaborate, nowadays

children

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watches

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watch

show examples

cartoons in English which helps them to learn

language

Add an article

a language

the language

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very

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a very

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young age . Take example my brother , his first language is Bangla but he used to watch cartoons in English when he was young and from

very

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a very

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young age he learnt to speak in English because of the cartoon shows he used to watch. It's really helped him in his academic years .

Furthermore

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, spending time with

peees

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pets

pes

can

devlope

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develop

communications

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communication

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skills,

team work

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teamwork

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, leadership and many more . They get to meet new people at every stage and learn from them which helps them to grow

Change preposition

into

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a successful person .

To sum up

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, family and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

sources like

Correct your spelling

show examples

peers

Correct word choice

and peers

show examples

both have their importance . Family plays a crucial role in the initial stages of a

child

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development

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, providing emotional support, moral guidance, and shaping early learning experiences.External factors like

television

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and friends begin to exert a greater influence as

children

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grow older, expanding their social circles beyond the family. As far as I can see it can be said that external factors

Correct your spelling

have

show examples

the greatest influence on

children

Use synonyms

devlopment

Correct your spelling

development

Submitted by caivankihh779 on Tue Jan 14 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to proofread your essay to catch small grammatical errors and ensure clarity, for instance, correcting 'children's are' to 'children are' for better grammatical consistency.

task achievement

While you have presented both viewpoints, consider developing your arguments a bit more deeply to offer a more nuanced discussion of each side.

coherence cohesion

Try to further enhance the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to make the essay even smoother to read and follow.

coherence cohesion

You've done well in organizing your essay in clear sections that introduce and discuss different viewpoints before concluding with your opinion.

task achievement

Your personal example about your brother learning English from watching cartoons adds a personal touch and exemplifies your points effectively.

task achievement

Your essay provides a good balance by considering both family and external influences, contributing to a comprehensive analysis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

454 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

initial stages
emotional support
moral guidance
role models
internalize
to mimic
sense of security
self-esteem
social circles
perceptions
aspirations
peer groups
risk-taking behaviors
foundational elements
upbringing
value system
dynamic nature
facilitating
well-rounded individual

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Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children's devlopment while others think that other areas such as television friends have a greater influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

The two pie charts demonstrates how the local government has spent its money in different sectors in the year 2000 and 2010. The funding was fairly constant in some areas but changed dramatically in others over the course of the decade.

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

‏For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Agree or Disagree)

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?