Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children's devlopment while others think that other areas such as television friends have a greater influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The

development

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of a

child

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has always been the centre of focus beside many topics, relating to that a debate has arisen surrounding the primary factor of contribution to one's

child

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's growing progress, whether it is family or other impacts. In

this

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essay, both of these ideas will be analyzed beforehand coming to a conclusion from the writer's perspective. To embark on , if we have a deep look at the assertion we will certainly be able to identify myriad reasons why communities believe family has the greatest impact on

children

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's growth . The first and foremost reason is , family is the first school of a

child

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. From the

beginning

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beginning,

show examples

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

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spend most of the time with their parents

therefore

Linking Words

they get the primary lessons from their family .

Furthermore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

children's

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children

show examples

are good

observer

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observers

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

children

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observe their parents and adapt their nature and behaviour that's the reason why people believe family play

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

role in

Use synonyms

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

development

Use synonyms

More over

Correct your spelling

Moreover

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, spending time with family not only

strengthen

Correct subject-verb agreement

strengthens

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their bond but

also

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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help them

toh

Correct your spelling

know their roots deeply . On the paradoxical side , a good number of people believe that

besides

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family other sources like

television

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or friends have

greater

Add an article

a greater

show examples

influence on

Use synonyms

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

development

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. The foremost reason is ,

Use synonyms

television

Correct word choice

that television

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Play

Correct subject-verb agreement

Plays

show examples

a part and parcel role in our lives .

Television

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provides

huge

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a huge

show examples

range of channels from all over the world which helps them to know about

the

Correct article usage

apply

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other cultures and traditions and

also

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lhelp

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help

helps

them to

leany

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learn

languages . To elaborate, nowadays

children

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watches

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watch

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cartoons in English which helps them to learn

language

Add an article

a language

the language

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very

Add an article

a very

show examples

young age . Take example my brother , his first language is Bangla but he used to watch cartoons in English when he was young and from

very

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a very

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young age he learnt to speak in English because of the cartoon shows he used to watch. It's really helped him in his academic years .

Furthermore

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, spending time with

peees

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pets

pes

can

devlope

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develop

communications

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communication

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skills,

team work

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teamwork

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, leadership and many more . They get to meet new people at every stage and learn from them which helps them to grow

Change preposition

into

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a successful person .

To sum up

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, family and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

sources like

Correct your spelling

show examples

peers

Correct word choice

and peers

show examples

both have their importance . Family plays a crucial role in the initial stages of a

child

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development

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, providing emotional support, moral guidance, and shaping early learning experiences.External factors like

television

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and friends begin to exert a greater influence as

children

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grow older, expanding their social circles beyond the family. As far as I can see it can be said that external factors

Correct your spelling

have

show examples

the greatest influence on

children

Use synonyms

devlopment

Correct your spelling

development

caivankihh779Tue Jan 14 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to proofread your essay to catch small grammatical errors and ensure clarity, for instance, correcting 'children's are' to 'children are' for better grammatical consistency.

task achievement

While you have presented both viewpoints, consider developing your arguments a bit more deeply to offer a more nuanced discussion of each side.

coherence cohesion

Try to further enhance the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to make the essay even smoother to read and follow.

coherence cohesion

You've done well in organizing your essay in clear sections that introduce and discuss different viewpoints before concluding with your opinion.

task achievement

Your personal example about your brother learning English from watching cartoons adds a personal touch and exemplifies your points effectively.

task achievement

Your essay provides a good balance by considering both family and external influences, contributing to a comprehensive analysis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

454 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

initial stages
emotional support
moral guidance
role models
internalize
to mimic
sense of security
self-esteem
social circles
perceptions
aspirations
peer groups
risk-taking behaviors
foundational elements
upbringing
value system
dynamic nature
facilitating
well-rounded individual

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Some people believe that family has the greatest influence on children's devlopment while others think that other areas such as television friends have a greater influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

An english speaking friends son wrote to you that his/her son would travel to country for a short holiday before starting his university. write a letter to the friend to Invite the friend’s son to visit. Suggest interesting things he can do in the country. Describe the weather in the country.

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?