IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which the goods are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In today's society, advertising plays a crucial role in the sales of popular
consumer
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 goods. It is a commonly held belief that the significant sales figures of popular
consumer
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 goods are a result of the influence of advertising rather than the genuine necessities of the society in which they are marketed. I completely agree with
this
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 belief.
Firstly
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, advertising techniques have become increasingly sophisticated over the years, making it difficult for
consumers
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 to differentiate between their actual needs and the wants created by advertisers.
For example
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, companies use social media platforms to target specific groups of
consumers
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 and manipulate their emotions by creating a sense of need for products they may not have even thought about before.
Secondly
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, companies often spend a significant portion of their budget on advertising and promotion rather than on improving the quality of their products or providing better services to their customers.
This
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 can be seen in the case of many fast-food chains that spend a large portion of their revenue on advertising, rather than focusing on providing healthier food options.
Finally
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, there is evidence to suggest that
consumer
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 behaviour is often driven by external factors,
such
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 as peer pressure and societal norms. Advertisements capitalize on these societal norms and manipulate
consumers
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 into purchasing products they may not necessarily need.
For example
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, consider the trend of using expensive and trendy smartphones among young people.
While
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 some may genuinely require the features and capabilities of
such
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 devices, others may simply be influenced by the social pressure to own the latest and most popular brand. Advertisements featuring celebrities or social media influencers using these smartphones can exacerbate
this
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 pressure and create a desire to conform to the norm, leading to unnecessary purchases. In conclusion, advertising plays a significant role in shaping
consumer
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 behaviour and driving sales of popular
consumer
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 goods.
Therefore
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, it is crucial that
consumers
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 become more aware of the influence of advertising and make informed decisions about their purchases.

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task achievement
Consider incorporating a counter-argument to strengthen the depth of your analysis and demonstrate a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between each paragraph to further enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt with clear, well-supported arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant and specific examples to illustrate the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • perceived need
  • lifestyle aspirations
  • brand image
  • prestige
  • psychological techniques
  • scarcity
  • social proof
  • celebrity endorsements
  • technological advancements
  • product innovations
  • emerging consumer needs
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