Some people believe famous people’s support for international aid organizations draw public attention. Others think celebrities reduce the importance of the problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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While
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celebrities's help
for
Change preposition
to
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international
aid
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organizations is believed can engage public attention, others think the opposite. They argue that it can even decrease the core of the problems. In
this
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essay, I will explain both views and give my perspective
further
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. On the one hand, international
aid
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organizations like UNICEF which focuses on children's
aid
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, need more attention from
people
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.
This
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problem can be solved by the participation of public figures with
hope
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the hope
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that their followers can
also
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join them.
For example
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, "Bedah Rumah", is one of the television programs in my country searching for poor
people
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who live in inappropriate houses and helping them rebuild their homes. Their strategy is to use famous
people
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to be the presenters of the program, resulting in many of their followers becoming
donators
Correct your spelling
donors
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.
On the other hand
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, sometimes their participation may work well, but it is not long-lasting. After the problems have been aided, the targeted
people
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also
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need to survive, they need resources for the upcoming days and days after. Meanwhile, many of them do not get it, the help they get from famous
people
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is just enough to cover the start.
For instance
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, influencers
such
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as Cristiano Ronaldo, I remember
him helped
Wrong verb form
helping
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one of my
people
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who suffered from Aceh's Tsunami disaster in 2009. It gets a lot of attention with his participation and helps the victim recover well from the disaster. But, after a long time, I am aware that many
people
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just support him when Ronaldo
also
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helps him, and to
this
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day,
people
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just know him because he has been helped by Ronaldo. In conclusion, there are many advantages and disadvantages from the celebrity's support for international
aid
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organizations like helping them get money support,
while
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it may be forgotten if not being maintained as well. I believe we should not care about
this
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a lot, any help we can get is invaluable.
Submitted by dorima on

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task achievement
Try to provide more balanced arguments for each side before concluding with your opinion. This will strengthen the objectivity of your discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that examples illustrate the main points more directly to improve clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraph transitions to enhance the flow and coherence between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The writer provides relevant examples that relate to personal or familiar contexts, aiding in illustrating the points.
task achievement
An effort is made to discuss both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding that complex issues have multiple perspectives.
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