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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant

The chart shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant
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The bar chart indicates
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of ownerships
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the
renters
Correct quantifier usage
number of renters
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 significantly over the
period
Use synonyms
 of the century,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who owned their places have been more common in recent years. it can be seen that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who had a lot of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 in 1918. Later
this
Linking Words
 indicator
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 towards
Use synonyms
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
households
Use synonyms
 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
accommodation
Use synonyms
 were minimum percentage ,
this
Linking Words
 index
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 unlike rented towards
Use synonyms
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. The highest
Use synonyms
households
Correct quantifier usage
number of households
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 were about 78% in 1918 in
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in rented buildings.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by about 22% what
households
Use synonyms
 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 house.
Also
Linking Words
, two types of
indicator
Fix the agreement mistake
indicators
show examples
 got equal percentages in 1971. And
then
Linking Words
, unlike the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, these indicators change in the opposite way. So,
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 maximum
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 at about 63%. Unlike
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
,
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to about 36%
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words households, period, people, accommodation, end with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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