In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays, the correlation between the usual
weight
of individuals and their health condition, and Use synonyms
sport
exercises, can be clearly seen. The Fix the agreement mistake
sports
weight
is rising, Use synonyms
while
these healthy habits are declining.
It is not surprising that these days Linking Words
people
have less motivation to work out because they are becoming increasingly lazy. Use synonyms
For instance
, most modern professions, Linking Words
such
as IT specialists or 3D designers, require sitting in front of electronic devices and do not involve any physical activity. Linking Words
Therefore
, there is no reason for Linking Words
people
to exercise and take care of their health. Fortunately, there is a solution to Use synonyms
this
problem. The government has to raise awareness through various advertisement posters about the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
people
will be more knowledgeable, and their Use synonyms
weight
will not increase anymore, as they will be more motivated thanks to the government's support.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, nowadays, cars are becoming increasingly popular, substituting for bikes, skates, and other active kinds of transport. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
people
move less and start to lead a sedentary lifestyle. Most Use synonyms
people
start to feel under the weather. Use synonyms
TTo
give an example, it can be mentioned that the production of bikes in many popular companies has unfortunately declined, Correct your spelling
To
while
car manufacturers are flourishing. The government has to impose certain restrictions on car use and provide Linking Words
people
with more convenient roads for bicycles. These actions will encourage Use synonyms
people
to spend their time more actively, and Use synonyms
therefore
, their Linking Words
weight
will normalize.
In conclusion, it is important for Use synonyms
people
to take care of their health habits and carefully watch their Use synonyms
weight
. Individuals have to find their motivation either by themselves or with the government’s supportUse synonyms
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overall
While your essay presents relevant ideas and examples, consider improving the clarity of your arguments by using a more structured flow. For instance, ensure each paragraph clearly links back to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph should ideally start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of the paragraph. This will help in maintaining a logical sequence and enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more directly related to the specific question by summarizing the causes and measures briefly.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, although the essay addresses both causes and solutions, try to explore additional perspectives or causes to provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Some ideas could be further elaborated to give a deeper insight into the solution's impacts on the problem, which would strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Your essay includes a clear topic and effectively outlines the relationship between weight and health habits.
supported main points
The examples provided, like the increase in sedentary jobs and use of cars, effectively support your main points.
introduction conclusion present
You have a logical conclusion which summarizes the importance of health habits for controlling weight.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?