Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?
Public concern regarding allocating the national budget for essential purposes becomes topical since some individuals opine that
this
amount of money should be spent Linking Words
for
educating society and providing healthcare, not for entertaining or facilitating hobbies. In response to Change preposition
on
this
aforementioned Linking Words
isssue
, I extremely disagree with Correct your spelling
issue
this
argument as providing financial resources for amusing and Linking Words
excercising
objectives has several benefits, not only for Correct your spelling
exercising
people
but Use synonyms
also
for Linking Words
government
.
Dropping funds for Add an article
the government
thetres
or sports are beneficial for Correct your spelling
theatres
people
because Use synonyms
this
activity leads to Linking Words
maintain
mental well-being and good health. Wrong verb form
maintaining
This
is because Linking Words
theatres’
visitors tend to come in Fix the agreement mistake
theatre’
weekends
to Change preposition
at weekends
undwind
their stress by watching their Correct your spelling
unwind
preferable
films. In Correct word choice
preferred
additon
, doing physical activities, Correct your spelling
addition
such
as yoga, aerobics, or cardio, can burn calories produced by food intake, Linking Words
then
it will decrease the Body Mass Index.Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
can prevent themselves from suffering chronic diseases in the future.
Moving to the positive developments gained by authorities that investing Use synonyms
on
the Change preposition
in
entertaiment
aspects, the government can get various positive Correct your spelling
entertainment
impact
after applying Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
this
regulation, Linking Words
such
as receiving more income. So, the more money invested in Linking Words
entertaiment
, the higher Correct your spelling
entertainment
probability
Correct article usage
the probability
small
Change preposition
of small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
improved
by getting a high yield return, Wrong verb form
improve
then
the more achieving return for national income. Linking Words
Additionally
, improving health service Linking Words
tend
to attract Change the verb form
tends
people
to be more active and more healthy. Use synonyms
Thus
, the number of expenditure to heal citizens’ disease will decrease.
Linking Words
To sum up
, the regulation of spending money for enjoying moments and doing sports Linking Words
give
Verb problem
has
good
Correct article usage
a good
impacts
on both individuals and the government including keeping healthy fit and Fix the agreement mistake
impact
increase
the financial performance of the country.Wrong verb form
increasing
Submitted by wiwitrahayu.ptplnnp on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention particular studies or data regarding the health benefits of sports or the revenue generated from entertainment industries.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure clarity in your ideas by re-reading your essay and eliminating any awkward phrasing or unclear sentences. This will make your arguments more persuasive.
logical structure
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported, providing a balanced view on the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the argument that will be discussed in the essay.