IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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I agree with the statement that new technologies and ways of buying and selling are changing
Use synonyms
consumers
Change noun form
consumers'
consumer's
show examples
 lives. In the
last
Linking Words
 years,
techniology
Correct your spelling
technology
 has changed how
people
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 shop, making it more easy, fast and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
.
This
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 is
abig
Correct your spelling
a big
 change for
consumers
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. One of the biggest
changes
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 is online shopping. Many
people
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 now buy products on websites, like Ozon, Wildberries, or Yandex market. They can buy from their house , and it is very easy to do.
Also
Linking Words
,they can compare prices, read reviews, and choose the best product.
This
Linking Words
 has made shopping faster and more accessible for everyone. Another big change is mobile payments like MIR PAY and SBP.
Consumers
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 don't need to carry cash or credit cards anymore. They can pay for anything just by using their phone.
This
Linking Words
 is much more comfortable, especially for busy
people
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, who don't have time to go to
shops
Correct article usage
the shops
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, new technologies like AI(artificial intelligence) can help to make shopping more personal. Websites can suggest products based on what
people
Use synonyms
 bought before.
This
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 makes it easier for
consumers
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 to find what they need and saves time. But
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
changes
Use synonyms
also
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 have some bad sides.
For example
Linking Words
, online shopping is making many traditional shops close down, which is bad for local economies.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
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 sometimes buy more than they need because of discounts and sales. In conclusion, new technologies and ways of buying and selling have really changed
Use synonyms
consumers
Change noun form
consumers'
consumer's
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 there are some bad effects like
closing
Add an article
the closing
show examples
 of shops, and
people
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 buying too much,
overall
Linking Words
 these
changes
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 have made shopping easier and better. I think
thase
Correct your spelling
these
those
changes
Use synonyms
 will continue in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by using clear topic sentences and logical flow of ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points for stronger task achievement.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction that presents the writer's stance, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points.
complete response
There is a complete response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument with valid points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transforming
  • consumers
  • buying and selling
  • new technologies
  • revolutionized
  • consumer experience
  • e-commerce
  • convenience
  • range of options
  • mobile payment systems
  • transactions
  • challenges
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