Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The impact of advanced education on
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
life
Use synonyms
quality is a () topic.
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
favour of the perspective that a
university
Use synonyms
degree is necessary for a successful
life
Use synonyms
, others hold
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
opinion.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
before
express
Change the verb form
expressing
show examples
my own understanding.
Completed
Wrong verb form
Completing
show examples
a program in
university
Use synonyms
is likely to provide some unique advantages which may contribute to a successful
life
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
could educate
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
with advanced or unique knowledge.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
means
those knowledge
Change the determiner
that knowledge
show examples
can not be studied independently by
Add an article
the individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
.
Lawyer
Fix the agreement mistake
Lawyers
show examples
and health-related occupations are two
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
to illustrate
this
Linking Words
argument. If a person
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want
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wants
show examples
to be
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
by studying
those
Change preposition
for those
show examples
unique degrees,
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
is a mandatory option.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who study in an advanced education institution would establish a tided network with
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
show examples
who have
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
.
A
Change the article
An
show examples
effective network
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
an essential effect on information exchange, which may benefit the development of an individual’s career.
People
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who proposed
show examples
proposed
Wrong verb form
propose
show examples
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
idea may argue that studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Use synonyms
is not the only method to achieve success.
This
Linking Words
could be
support
Wrong verb form
supported
show examples
by the
criticise
Correct your spelling
criticism
show examples
of the less-invented teaching method in the education system and a curriculum without flexibility.
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
two
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
will strictly limit students’ creativity and
additionally
Linking Words
impacts student’s career development in a negative manner.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
can achieve a prosperous
life
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by several other approaches. Working
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
,
apprenticeship
Fix the agreement mistake
apprenticeships
show examples
and worker
academy
Fix the agreement mistake
academies
show examples
are the other approachable methods that could benefit
people
Use synonyms
’s development.
Especially
Rephrase
In particular
show examples
, they offer relatively flexible criteria for the
canadiens
Correct your spelling
Canadians
show examples
and allow them to discover their own interest
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
work-placement
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
. In my opinion, whether a
university
Use synonyms
certification is crucial for a successful
life
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
highly
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
personal interest. If a person who
enthusiastic
Add a missing verb
is enthusiastic
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
a career
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
some academic requirement, a
university
Use synonyms
degrees
Change the noun form
degree
show examples
is necessary.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a
university
Use synonyms
degree won’t essentially lead to a successful
life
Use synonyms
for
people
Use synonyms
who aim
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
explore
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
life
Use synonyms
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
Submitted by heimli6 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to incorporate more specific examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, mentioning well-known individuals who succeeded without a degree and explaining how they achieved success could be valuable.
writing accuracy
Focus on improving grammatical accuracy, such as correctly using articles ('a' and 'the'), prepositions, and subject-verb agreements.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider elaborating more on the reasons why a university degree may not be essential, with more depth and creativity.
coherence
The essay clearly introduces the topic and discusses both views, ending with a conclusion that outlines your opinion. This shows a coherent structure, even if some ideas need further development.
task achievement
You attempt to present a balanced argument by discussing both perspectives of the issue in reference to university education and success.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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