IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the adventages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadventages? Zha

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers #adventages #disadventages #zha
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In the future, all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless, and only passengers will travel in them.
While
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this
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 idea has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe the benefits are more significant. On the one hand, driverless vehicles bring many advantages. Companies will no longer need to pay salaries to drivers, which will reduce costs.
For example
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, taxi services and public transport may offer cheaper fares for passengers.
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Additionally
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Additionally,
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 these vehicles represent a huge step forward in technology.
This
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 could make roads safer in the long run.
In
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contrast
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contrast,
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 there are some disadvantages. A major concern is unemployment. It could cause financial problems for many families. Another issue is the risk of accidents.
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, a technical glitch could lead to serious crashes, endangering passengers and others on the road. In conclusion, the future of driverless vehicles has both pros and cons.
However
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, the benefits of cheaper fares, technological progress, and improved safety are more significant.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or studies to support your points. For example, mention a study or expert opinion on the cost benefits or safety improvements of driverless vehicles.
task achievement
Ensure you address both advantages and disadvantages more equally. The essay currently focuses more on advantages.
task achievement
Try to elaborate further on how technological progress with driverless vehicles directly benefits society beyond just cost reduction and safety.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-maintained throughout, with each paragraph focused on a central idea.
task achievement
The discussion includes relevant points about economic impacts and safety concerns, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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