Some people believe that the government should shoulder the responsibility of providing economic support for the arts.On the contrary, opponents suggest that healthcare and education should be given priority instead.There seem to be valid reasons on both sides of the argument.
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Most argue that it is not the responsibility of the ministry to offer the provision of funding to arts and believe that it is better to spend money on healthcare and education. I completely agree with
this
opinion and think that humanistic disciplines are crucial for society in the same way.
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Firstly
, governments are formed for the betterment of society. Linking Words
Moreover
, arts contribute to the development of the culture of some nations. It is important because culture designs the identity of individuals and creates skills for maintaining the folklore of social groups. Linking Words
For example
, Colombia's authority has designed a program which tries to keep alive the Bambuco music, it is a typical music in Tolima's region and is a crucial part of citizens. In Linking Words
this
way, Tolima's people keep their traditional roots thanks to programs focused on creative activities .
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On the other hand
, nations must spend money on medical management and brainwashing which are essential human rights. It is crucial for people who do not have enough resources. Linking Words
For instance
, Colombia has several regions where poor populations need a deep intervention in healthcare and education, it is a specific case in which authorities must tackle the issue. Linking Words
Finally
, Linking Words
this
kind of problem has been focused on helping society.
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To conclude
, Linking Words
although
medical management and education are crucial for individuals, artworks are Linking Words
also
paramount in civilization. In my opinion, the ministry should spend money on programs which help to develop artwork to keep the people's identity and knowledge about their roots and their ancestors.Linking Words
Submitted by mariajoser3 on
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task achievement
Ensure a clearer distinction between your arguments and opposing views in the introduction to strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving paragraph connectivity for smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
Elaborate on examples by explaining their significance to enhance your main points.
task achievement
Your essay presents a thoughtful exploration of the topic, addressing both sides effectively.
task achievement
Each main point is supported with relevant examples, especially the one about Colombia's arts program.
coherence and cohesion
You have a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?