Some people believe that our happiness depend on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness.’ Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?
It is generally believed that having money can increase
enjoyment
in some societies. Use synonyms
While
others argue that Linking Words
funds
cannot help you to change crying to laughing. I totally contend that collecting so much Use synonyms
funds
can buy laughter for the following reasons.
On the one hand, Use synonyms
people
can buy every need they want with costs, and with money, they can do everything to raise their moods and release stress to achieve Use synonyms
enjoyment
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, some societies assume, it is a valuable achievement when Linking Words
people
can buy things they want. Use synonyms
This
can result, when citizens can buy everything they want or do something, Linking Words
such
as go to the gym or have a holiday and go across the country, they feel very satisfied and it would alleviate their burnout from work, Linking Words
for instance
. Linking Words
This
Linking Words
also
increases their hormone of happiness, dopamine and endorphins.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I believe Linking Words
funds
cannot buy Use synonyms
enjoyment
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, it become very common in Asian families, some of them feel very happy when they gather with their family. Linking Words
Moreover
, older Linking Words
people
would choose to visit children rather than collect Use synonyms
funds
. Use synonyms
Also
, some communities who meet their parents are very rare, they absolutely feel Linking Words
enjoyment
when they hug their mother and father at the same time. For me Use synonyms
for instance
, collecting more Linking Words
enjoyment
, I just need clear and fresh air with a peaceful place and surrounded by a good environment, Use synonyms
also
full of trees and blue sky.
Linking Words
To sum up
, both perspectives have an important role in raising Linking Words
enjoyment
. Use synonyms
While
some communities assume, the fund has a vital role in making Linking Words
people
laugh, I believe, the fund is not the first and only thing to increase mood, but Use synonyms
also
a good environment, and support system that can help Linking Words
people
erase the sadness and change it into happiness.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Make sure to state your opinion clearly and consistently throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph links back to your main thesis, maintaining a clear and cohesive line of reasoning.
task achievement
Try to develop each supporting idea with more detailed supporting evidence or examples. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your logical flow by making clearer transitions between ideas. Use connectives and linking words effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides both perspectives on the topic and attempts to balance the argument with examples from different cultures and personal experiences.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, wrapping up the discussion effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.