IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we worked? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #workplaces
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The holistic
pwer
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power
 of modern
technology
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 holds a significant role in most workplaces in today's society. It leads to a progressive change in human labour in
an
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a
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 more efficient and accurate way. Yet its vast and omnipotent ability lures people to rely on them extensively. In my point of view, people especially workplace
workers
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over
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apply
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rely
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rely on
rely upon
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 or even misuse
technology
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 to bring out many disadvantages:
work
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 ethics and matters of
responsibility
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.
Work
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 ethics means facilitating a workplace with moral actions and intentions to pursue
goal
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the goal
a goal
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 of completion of
work
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. With the influence of modern
technology
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,
workers
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 might overuse Artificial Intelligence (AI) like ChatBots to generate their ideas, which without ethical means,
the
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apply
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effect
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effects
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of
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apply
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plagarism
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plagiarism
 or any acts of dishonesty might be induced.
This
Linking Words
 is because of the vast data and generating power of AI that produces an image to
workers
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, showcasing it as a
goddess like
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goddess-like
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 worker, helping daunting
workers
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 with just a click to generate favouring
informations
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information
pieces of information
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. In
this
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 case,
work
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 ethics
needs
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need
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 to be upholded by letting
workers
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 acknowledge the danger of
over using
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overusing
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technology
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. Mattering human
responsibility
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, since modern
technology
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 is
such
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 a supercharging tool in use, it
over takes
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overtakes
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 the
responsibility
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 of the
workers
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. With
this
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technology
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 in hand,
workers
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 will no longer be motivated to fulfill
its
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their
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 fundamental
responsibility
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 which is to complete his or her
work
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 with ethical means. To solve
this
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 issue, they must experience the consequences of
over using
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overusing
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technology
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, like receiving punishments for copying
AI generated
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AI-generated
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informations
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information
pieces of information
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 without citing its source of reference. Giving credit to modern
tehnology
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technology
 has the means of respecting
this
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 tool
while
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 holding on to human
responsibility
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 to avoid diminishing human integrity.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
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task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearer and more comprehensive by explaining them in detail and making direct connections to the topic questions.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try to organize your ideas more logically with clear transitions between them. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, setting the stage for the discussion and wrapping it up effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both changes brought by technology in the workplace and potential disadvantages, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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