People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is argued that people choose their course based on what sort of
jobs
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they can get
instead
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of their interests. I completely agree with the statement because demanding
jobs
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will make us satisfied and counselling will help us avoid mental problems. The first reason why people should consider their studies on the basis of the
jobs
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because
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is because
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they feel satisfied that they
choose
Wrong verb form
have chosen
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a
Correct article usage
the
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right path.
In other words
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, it makes one happier, that they get high salaried job and their hard work doesn’t get in vain.
Also
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, it makes a person motivated and confident if he gets
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Correct article usage
a jobs
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jobs
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job
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in his chosen path.
For example
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, in
this
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competitive technological
era
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era,
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kids are focusing more on engineering and related subjects as they are aware that AI will be
next
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the next
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future and they will be accepted in
market
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the market
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with a good salary.
Hence
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, the more we rely on these skills the more an individual will be successful in his professional life. Another reason to consider is that
,
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apply
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right
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the right
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counselling will help
pupil
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pupils
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to
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apply
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avoid depression and other problems.
That is
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to say, the wrong career option
leave
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leaves
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an individual with no hope to grow and get
job
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a job
the job
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and they generally end up doing nothing or changing their career as they are not aware
about
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of
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the market trends.
For instance
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, it has been observed that
choosing
Verb problem
making
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wrong
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the wrong
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choice makes a person looser,
feel
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and feel
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demotivated as they didn’t get a job as expected .
Therefore
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, the correct counselling should be done with kids when they are entering their adolescent age. In conclusion, people should choose their career on the basis of the market. I agree that demanding
jobs
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and choosing
right
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the right
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option plays
vital
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a vital
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role in one’s life.
Submitted by ekta.grover.ca on

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task achievement
While your essay effectively supports the viewpoint with relevant examples, consider expanding on the counter-argument to show a balanced perspective. This will enhance the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas are clear and generally well explained. However, on occasion, introductory phrases or transition words could be used more frequently to further ensure clarity and flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully framing your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples related to the technological era and counseling, which strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay allows for easy comprehension, maintaining a coherent argument throughout the text.
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