Women can do everything that men can and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But it is a fact that their work is not appreciated as much as men's, although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. It is said: "A woman's place is in the home." What do you think?

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I totally
disagre
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disagree
about
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with
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this
Linking Words
idea because in order to have balance in life women should have the
rights
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right
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as men to decide what she wants to do in
her
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their
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life and work, regardless she wants to have
job
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a job
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or to be
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a housewife
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housewife
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housewives
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carring
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caring
carrying
of
her
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their
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children. Many
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women
woamen
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women
showed their
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success
sucess
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success
in different fields
such
Linking Words
as medicine,
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engineering
engenering
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engineering
,teaching and sports
Submitted by zuhour.haneef222 on

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task achievement
Work on providing specific examples to strengthen your argument. Instead of simply mentioning fields like medicine or engineering, you could discuss specific women who have excelled in these areas.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas with detailed explanations. For instance, you might discuss how women's contributions in various fields positively impact society.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to introduce, explain, and conclude different points. This will make your essay easier to follow and more structured.
task achievement
Great start by clearly stating your disagreement with the idea that a woman's place is in the home.
task achievement
You highlighted women's achievements in diverse fields, which supports your main argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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