IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that higher education should be founded by the government. Other however argue that it is the responsibility of individuals to fund their higher education discuss both views and give your opinion

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There are some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 who have an opinion that higher
education
Use synonyms
 should be done by the
government
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
On
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
 some
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 opine it is the
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 responsible
to fund
Change preposition
for funding
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 their higher
education
Use synonyms
. As far as I am concerned, I believe it is the
government
Use synonyms
 who is liable for making payments of
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 college
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
. On the one hand,
according to
Linking Words
 some
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
citizen
Add a comma
citizen,
show examples
 the
state
Use synonyms
 should make her
people
Use synonyms
educate
Wrong verb form
educated
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 by funding their fees because they are the future of that
state
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 they will be in different
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 and on their capabilities the
state
Use synonyms
 will run.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 falls under
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 basic needs
thus
Linking Words
 it is the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to receive higher
education
Use synonyms
 from the
state
Use synonyms
.
Example
Change preposition
For example
show examples
 in
rapidly
Correct article usage
a rapidly
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 growing world if one person is illiterate
then
Linking Words
 he cannot stand in front of those who are
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 about various
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 of the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a group of individuals tend to believe that it is the individual who has to bear he is own cost of
education
Use synonyms
. When student have to make a payment of the knowledge
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 received they will value it more and concentrate on their studies.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 it is often found in different countries that
although
Linking Words
 having Low fees and other different amenities in
Use synonyms
government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 often
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
poor
below
Correct word choice
and below
show examples
 average. In conclusion,
all those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
 may have different
assertion
Fix the agreement mistake
assertions
show examples
 on the topic. I believe that
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 should be liable for its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 as they will be a leader of tomorrow
also
Linking Words
 it is their right to receive knowledge

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contributes clearly to your overall argument. Consider developing transitions between ideas for smoother flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of the topic by presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Attempts to use transitional phrases between points, contributing to the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Includes an introduction and a conclusion that express your opinion effectively.
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