Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behavior

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It is widely believed that television and video games on computers have a bad impact on the communities.

However

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, a number of people think there are other dramatic factors that can affect on person’s

behaviour

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. I strongly agree with

this

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point of view, as I believe there are various causes that can affect on person’s

behaviour

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like family raising and the environment. First of all, family raising can have an impact on

behaviour

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This

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is because

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apply

show examples

paying attention and taking care of children can make good progress in the childhood stage.

For example

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, raising a child with a single mother can be a bit challenging compared to raising one with parents or even in a big family.

In other words

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, with father and mother.

According to

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a recent study by Sultan Qaboos University, 45% of

violence

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cases are based on families who can’t look after their children because of busy lifestyles.

Furthermore

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, the environment surrounding the person can control his or her on her life.

Due to

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the fact that the person reflects the environment where he or she lives.

For instance

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, outdoor activities in playgrounds or even in schools can teach

violence

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. There is no question that in developing countries that have poor societies with no entertainment resources, their children can be violent in their

behaviour

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. In conclusion, there are many factors that can affect

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apply

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behaviour

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. In my opinion, television and games on computers are not only the main causes of

violence

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In contrast

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, I fully encourage that, everyone takes a positive role towards

violence

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Submitted by dream2cuwed on Thu Jan 16 2025

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task achievement

Ensure to address both sides of the argument for a balanced view. You've provided a strong argument on why TV and video games may not be the primary cause of societal violence but consider discussing why some people think they are.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more transitional phrases or connecting words to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

task achievement

Be mindful of repetitive phrasing such as "affect on", which should be "affect" without "on" when used as a verb.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly states the opinion early on with a strong thesis statement.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, like the study from Sultan Qaboos University, strengthens your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your concluding paragraph effectively summarizes your stance and calls for action, which provides a strong finish to your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proliferation
desensitize
empathetic response
aggressive behavior
formative years
impressionable
catharsis
media psychology
mixed results
family environment
genetics
regulatory bodies
rating systems
vulnerable demographics
inappropriate content

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.