People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Public concern regarding how individuals select their courses
while
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studying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational institutions becomes topical since some people argue that their choices should related to the expected
future
Use synonyms
career,
while
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the rest of them believe that the
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
are much more essential. In response to
this
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aforementioned issue, I will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of view later,
however
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, I agree with the extent of considering jobs
instead
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of the interest
due to
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their greater
future
Use synonyms
. Prioritizing interest in selecting courses provided by the educational system is crucial for levelling up their motivation.
This
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is because pupils can learn particular subjects excitedly with no
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
for understanding
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to understand
show examples
some information they need.
Thus
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, students will be motivated to come
schools
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to schools
show examples
and tend to get a higher score compared to individuals who select the fields by other considerations.
However
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,
this
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reason is
misperseption
Correct your spelling
misperception
misperceptions
since a high grade will be useless if
this
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major does not match
with
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apply
show examples
the requirement needed in their
future
Use synonyms
jobs.
On the other hand
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, assessing pupils’
future
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careers is essential to be a pavement
while
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joining selected classes because it will affect significantly to gain the better
future
Use synonyms
.
This
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expectation can be reached if individuals can make a priority in which they should
to
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apply
show examples
be great at scores.
Therefore
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, after graduating from the universities, if
the
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apply
show examples
job vacancies are available for several positions, they will have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
chance to be
distinguised
Correct your spelling
distinguished
due to
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the
Change the word
their
show examples
impresive
Correct your spelling
impressive
educational reports.
To sum up
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, even though having background studies based on the preference offers
enjoyful
Correct your spelling
enjoyable
learning activities, it will not affect
on
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apply
show examples
their
future
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
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, pupils
deepen
Wrong verb form
deepened
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understanding
Correct pronoun usage
their understanding
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connected to vacancies tend to meet their
expectation
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expectations
show examples
for living better.
Submitted by wiwitrahayu.ptplnnp on

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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the issue but lacks in-depth examples to support the arguments. Including specific examples from real-life scenarios or well-known trends could strengthen the response.
task achievement
Some points require clearer development to improve understanding. Ensure each point is explained thoroughly to make your argument persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay can be improved. Consider using more transitional phrases to clearly connect your ideas and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can hinder clarity. Consider revisiting the grammar rules and practice to improve fluency.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction presents both viewpoints and clearly states the writer's stance, setting a solid foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Good attempt at summarizing the main arguments in the conclusion, reinforcing the writer's viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • course of study
  • job prospects
  • market demands
  • employment opportunities
  • financial security
  • personal fulfillment
  • innovation
  • job market
  • career advancement
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • adaptability
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