Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
A few people feel that the best way to encourage
children
that have a balanced diet at educational Use synonyms
institution
and others believe that Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
parents
should teach them. Schools should instruct students to bring a tiffin box with Use synonyms
different size
Correct your spelling
different-sized
Use synonyms
portion
with balanced Fix the agreement mistake
portions
meal
and Fix the agreement mistake
meals
snack
box with fruits or vegetables. At the same Correct article usage
a snack
time
Add a comma
time,
parents
should Use synonyms
educate
about healthy Wrong verb form
be educated
foods
and avoiding packed Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
in
home. In Change preposition
at
this
essay, I will discuss both Linking Words
perspective
and give my opinion.
On the one hand, Change to a plural noun
perspectives
elementary
and Add an article
the elementary
an elementary
mid school
should implement Add a hyphen
mid-school
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
portion
Use synonyms
tiffen
box which contains small Correct your spelling
tiffin
Use synonyms
portion
Fix the agreement mistake
portions
for
carbohydrate food Change preposition
of
such
as rice or Linking Words
chappathi
. Medium Correct your spelling
chappati
portion
for Use synonyms
protein rich
eggs or chicken. Large Add a hyphen
protein-rich
portion
for dal or vegetable curry. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Schools should Linking Words
also
give small Linking Words
break
for healthy snacks Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
such
as Linking Words
carrot
or nuts. Fix the agreement mistake
carrots
For Example
, china and Korea have balanced healthy meal Linking Words
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
in
lunch time and home Change preposition
at
foods
are restricted. Because of Use synonyms
this
, childhood obesity is reduced Linking Words
from
Change preposition
in
the
school.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, Linking Words
parents
should educate the Use synonyms
children
about nutritious food habits and make them Use synonyms
as
a routine. Most importantly, outside Change preposition
apply
deep fried
and packed Add a hyphen
deep-fried
foods
should be avoided. Use synonyms
For instance
, Many research studies show that fast food Linking Words
are
the real culprit for childhood obesity.
In conclusion, both Change the verb form
is
school
and Fix the agreement mistake
schools
parents
have the responsibility to teach Use synonyms
children
about Use synonyms
healthy
diet. By changing individual diet habits, we can create a better society with healthy Add an article
a healthy
children
.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow by making clear connections between ideas and paragraphs. This will help in providing a more cohesive response. Each paragraph should clearly link back to the central topic of the essay.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors and sentence structures that may hinder clarity. Improving this can increase your overall score.
task response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the school's and parents' roles in fostering healthy eating habits among children.
task achievement
Good inclusion of examples, like the reference to China and Korea, which helps to contextualize and support the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion ties the essay together well by summarizing the main points and providing a clear opinion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.