IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that children should learn practical skills in school. Others believe academic knowledge is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #skills #school
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Many individuals hold the opinion that one should focus on merely the theoretical understanding in educational institutions,
whereas
Linking Words
 few of them want to have tangible expertise.
As per
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From
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 my perspective,both aspects play a crucial role in
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 life
while
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 studying in education centres. on one hand, the populace which believes in technical expertise, motivates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children to face
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 challenges by learning
such
Linking Words
 skills
Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, fixing a gadget itself and cooking healthy meals.
Definitely
Add a comma
Definitely,
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 a day
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 come when these activities
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be implemented in use for sure for more activities involving practice
reflects
Correct pronoun usage
that reflects
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to have
Verb problem
apply
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critical thinking in school-aged learners and
to solve
Change the verb form
solving
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 case studies. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, masses who promote only scholarly insight
leads to
Verb problem
apply
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push students in a particular field, like
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
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,
Correct word choice
or physician
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physician
Fix the agreement mistake
physicians
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teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 to get expertise.
According to
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 a survey in Bangladesh, 60% of a specific scholar became
bookworm
Fix the agreement mistake
bookworms
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 in only three years of schooling without any
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
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 activities.even 25% of those 60% had to
admit
Wrong verb form
be admitted
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in
Change preposition
to
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 hospitals to get rid of
this
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 hurdle.
To sum up
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, I would say
balance
Add an article
the balance
a balance
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 of both academic and practical skills is essential. After school, the students must be sent to sports class, dance class or something to obtain
instead
Linking Words
 of that same tuition work
Submitted by komalbansal51670 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical flow by ensuring that each idea smoothly transitions to the next. Try using more linking words and phrases to connect your thoughts.
task achievement
While the main points are present, provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced opinion on the importance of practical skills and academic knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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