Some people believe that our personality comes mostly from our genes rather than from the way we are brought up. To what extent do you agree with this?
opinions differ regarding whether or not humans' genes exert more influence on our characters than how we have grown. Some critics insist that the environment
which
we have grown Change preposition
in which
plays
a crucial role in growing wholesome adults. I personally completely agree with Change preposition
up plays
this
assertion since in childhood and Linking Words
in
teenage years, individuals are influenced by Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
circumstance
.
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
To begin
with, there are major two reasons why the environment that we have grown has a large impact on our personality. Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
are decided their personality by memories of childhood. To explain, if children are shocked and abused, they can be traumatised, which does harm to their emotional development and Use synonyms
therefore
, they might have Linking Words
personalities
that they do not like Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
which
allow
them to feel fear Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
to be
close to others. Change preposition
of being
In addition
, the parents' upbringing method is important for Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
personalities
. Use synonyms
For example
, if they can not be educated on right and wrong by their parent Linking Words
such
as bullying others and stealing items, they will not decipher right and wrong, and it is unlikely that children cannot grow into wholesome adults. Linking Words
Furthermore
, they may commit crimes.
On top of that, I believe that Linking Words
people
can be outgoing or introverted through class dynamics. To explain, if they are close with Use synonyms
friends
who like sports and playing outside, they are extroverted because they play with the kind of Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
However
, if they are close to Linking Words
friends
who like reading books and do not like sports, they are introverted. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they might change the Linking Words
personalities
Use synonyms
by
their Change preposition
of
friends
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
personalities
are decided by what kind of Use synonyms
friends
they are close with and the environment Use synonyms
which
they have grown. For Change preposition
in which
this
Linking Words
reasons
, our personality Fix the agreement mistake
reason
come
from the way we are brought upChange the verb form
comes
Submitted by garim4645 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider organizing your main points more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each idea. This will help in presenting a more fluid argumentation throughout.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains clear, focused ideas supported by specific examples. Try to elaborate more on each example to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas to achieve a more comprehensive response. Make sure your argument reflects a balance between both genetics and environment if you wish to address the 'extent' part effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which frame your discussion nicely.
task achievement
You engage with relevant examples, such as childhood experiences, to illustrate your points, which is effective in supporting your ideas.