At the present time, the popuation of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage of this situation outweight the disadvantages?
Nowadays there is a predominant number of young
adults
rather than older Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
This
outnumbering of the younger Linking Words
population
is extremely helpful for economic benefits, educational growth, and Use synonyms
upward
trend of the Correct article usage
the upward
population
. Use synonyms
However
, elderly Linking Words
people
and Use synonyms
people
older than 26 are Use synonyms
also
significant, because they are tremendously experienced in many economic sectors and usually hold high positions in companies and the demographic shortage of those Linking Words
people
causes a lack of experienced professionals in a country.
On the one hand, young Use synonyms
adults
are the most economically active Use synonyms
people
, because they tend to spend an Use synonyms
enourmous
amount of money on entertainment and activities in comparison with older Correct your spelling
enormous
people
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, at Linking Words
this
age the youth most often purchases personal properties and cars, Linking Words
thus
it makes Linking Words
this
group of Linking Words
people
the best contributors to the gross domestic product of a country, which expands the economic pie of the society. Use synonyms
Furtheremore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
modern
generation of young Correct article usage
the modern
adults
is more likely to Use synonyms
enroll
at Change the spelling
enrol
the
universitiesCorrect article usage
apply
,
because nowadays it is more Remove the comma
apply
avaliable
than ever before. It increases the number of educated individualsCorrect your spelling
available
valuable
,
and contributes both to the economy and social stability. Eventually, Remove the comma
apply
people
between the age of 18-26 from a demographic point of view are extremely significant for reproduction. Use synonyms
This
age is usually a peak of women's fertility and because of Linking Words
this
more babies will be born, which will stabilize the demographic trend in the long term.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, older Linking Words
people
are usually the richest stratum of the Use synonyms
population
, because they are most experienced in their professional fields. These Use synonyms
people
are utterly demanded Use synonyms
for
the huge corporations and transnational companies that look for Change preposition
by
people
with a huge experience and working proficiency. The lack of Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
people
indicates that there is an absence of potential professors, CEOs and leaders Use synonyms
that
can teach younger generations. Correct pronoun usage
who
This
Linking Words
also
threatens the labour market, because most of the participants are comprised of Linking Words
an
unexperienced young Correct article usage
apply
people
with zero professional abilities and skills.
In Use synonyms
conclsion
, the advantages of the given situation outweigh the disadvantages because young Correct your spelling
conclusion
adults
are the most significant contributors to the GPA, and they are Use synonyms
most
educated stratum of the Correct article usage
the most
population
as well. Use synonyms
Also
, young Linking Words
adults
Use synonyms
is
the main group of Change the verb form
are
people
for Use synonyms
the
reproduction. In terms of disadvantages, older Correct article usage
apply
people
are Use synonyms
most
experienced Correct article usage
the most
one
, and Correct pronoun usage
ones
absence
of these Correct article usage
the absence
people
represents the lack of highly demanded and skillful workers.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Work on including more specific examples or data to solidify the arguments you make. For instance, mention specific economic contributions or educational trends to give more weight to your points.
task achievement
Be mindful of consistency in using the term "GPA" as it seems there is confusion with "GDP," which is gross domestic product. Clarifying terms will prevent misunderstandings.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow between paragraphs by using more transition words and phrases. This will help connect ideas more smoothly from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument clearly, showing a balanced viewpoint on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, giving the essay a structured beginning and end which encapsulate the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Logical arguments are made about the benefits of a younger population in terms of economic benefits and educational opportunities, linking back to the essay question well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example