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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this decision.

#people #work #travel #year #school #university #decision
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Many youths prefer working and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 after they have finished high school and before starting their study at university. There are several advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 choice
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal development with independence and exploring their interests.
However
Linking Words
, Loss of academic momentum and financial issues can be
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks that should not be overlooked. One major advantage of
this
Linking Words
 is that traveling or
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for a
year
Use synonyms
 allows alumni to acquire significant skills on both personal and professional
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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, which help them deal with challenges and
accelerates
Correct subject-verb agreement
accelerate
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 the improvement
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
show examples
 in their universal studies.
For example
Linking Words
, financial management and adapting to different environments, these skills often
paly
Correct your spelling
play
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role
Correct article usage
a role
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 in
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 the personality, which leads to a better educational process. Another key benefit is that traveling experience can help in
exploration
Replace the word
exploring
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 the potential the professional interests, which can help effectively in wisely
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 a decision that
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to their advanced studies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the main disadvantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is that a
year
Use synonyms
 away from studying could lead to losing the academic concentration and acquisitional learning skills from previous educational study, leading to
difficultly
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
 adapting to the life requirements at the university. Another disadvantage is that working and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 usually need financial costs which in case there
are miss
Verb problem
is
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planning
Correct your spelling
mis-planning
 resulting in financial pressures and losing time without results.
For example
Linking Words
, the youth who spends more money in that
year
Use synonyms
 for unnecessary purposes which
excusive
Correct your spelling
excessive
 debts. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 the benefits of a
year
Use synonyms
 between finishing high school and starting university include developing persons, getting independence and
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to explore interests, academic momentum
losing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and financial problems are equally important to consider.
Submitted by Hanan on

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task achievement
Consider adding more examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and ensure there is clarity in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and help frame your essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are logically structured to present both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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