Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer? FAtima
Most
companies
Use synonyms
invests
spend their millions in advertising to convince Change the verb form
invest
consumers
to buy products. There Use synonyms
have
two ideas to explain. Advertising can help Verb problem
are
companies
to Use synonyms
promotion
their products to interest Replace the word
promote
people
. Use synonyms
Linking Words
However
it has Add a comma
However,
also
disadvantages Linking Words
to
Change preposition
for
consumers
and the same time to Use synonyms
companies
. Now we are discussing two options.
Advertising the Use synonyms
product
gives a lot of possibilities to fabrics Use synonyms
earn
more money. If Fix the infinitive
to earn
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
will not know nothing
about one Rewrite the sentence
will not know anything
will know nothing
product
, they Use synonyms
are not be
interested Change the verb form
are not
in
. Publicity in social media gives more information about Correct pronoun usage
in it
commodity
. Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
With commercial
Change preposition
Commercial
companies
can add more effects , beauty, Use synonyms
quality
Correct word choice
and quality
for
their products. Change preposition
to
Linking Words
Also
they could call some celebrities to advertise their work. Afterwards, celebrities’s fans would buy the fabric, because they would Add a comma
Also,
be interest
what the Change the verb form
be interesting
be interested
product
their favourite blogger tried. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
kylie
cosmetics Capitalize word
Kylie
Use synonyms
consumers
Change noun form
consumers'
consumer's
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
is
growing every single day. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
That is
because she is Linking Words
the
billionaire. Her Correct article usage
a
product
is just cosmetics and lipstick like everyone else, but her name Use synonyms
say
something else. Change the verb form
says
That is
because her name is famous Linking Words
to
all Change preposition
apply
the
world, Change preposition
over the
her
every Correct word choice
and her
product
Use synonyms
sell
out in a second.
Disadvantages the of Correct subject-verb agreement
sells
this
Linking Words
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
to
Change preposition
apply
consumers
is that Use synonyms
people
fall for marketing. When the Use synonyms
product
’s advertising is quality and luxuriantly everyone wants to buy and would be concernment. if you buy only from advertising you will not know the real capacity of the Use synonyms
product
. Use synonyms
For example
, the fabrics that Linking Words
call
Nivea Wrong verb form
are called
has
very qualitative advertisements but not the quality. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Also
, if you see the statistics 70 Linking Words
percentage
of Replace the word
per cent
people
Use synonyms
got
many Verb problem
have
skins
problems.
After Change the noun form
skin
that
the Nivea company received many complaints from Add a comma
that,
consumers
. Nowadays, Nivea’s Use synonyms
statistic’s
Change noun form
statistics
does
not exceed more than 50 %.
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
To conclude
, we do not need Linking Words
tu
buy one thing if they do not have any grades from other Correct your spelling
to
consumers
, even if advertising is too qualitative.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with well-organized arguments. This will help improve the logical flow and coherence.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples and explanations that effectively illustrate your points. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects to your main thesis. This will help guide the reader and clarify your essay's structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of advertising.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples in discussing the impact of advertising on consumer behavior, such as Kylie Cosmetics and Nivea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example