IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people think that
children
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 should be taught by their
parents
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 about how to function as useful members of
society
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,
while
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 others think that sending
students
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 to educational institutions is the best way for them to study
this
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.
Although
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 the latter opinion can be beneficial in
same
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some
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 cases, I believe
contribution
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the contribution
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 of
parents
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are
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is
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 much more important
on
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in
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 the development of the
children
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. On the one hand, schools can be considered as the best place for
children
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 to learn how to be
a
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apply
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good
citizen
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citizens
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. Standardized educational methods can improve
students
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' cognitive development for the future.
For example
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, the president of Azerbaijan who has a significant contribution to the country, namely Ilham Aliyev, graduated from Baku State University
where
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and
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 has been
giving
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apply
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a lot of educational alumnus
to
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of
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
society
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.
However
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, the proportion of
these alumnus
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this alumnus
these alumni
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are
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is
show examples
 much less than the normal standards since it is totally different and interdependent. I believe that
parents
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 play a pivotal role in the development of
children
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's attitudes, and they can teach them how to be good citizens. In Azerbaijan,
for instance
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, classes consist of 40
students
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 which
make
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makes
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 the situation harder for the teachers to work with
students
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 one by one.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 are
informative
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informed
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 about the
behaviors
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behaviours
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 and knowledge of their
children
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 individually, so they can spend time
to teach
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teaching
show examples
 them about the values of
society
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 by reading
the
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apply
show examples
traditional or historical books. In conclusion, both schools and
parents
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 might have a significant effect on preparing
students
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 as the best citizens of the
society
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, I believe parental effect is much more important since
parents
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 have more information about their
children
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in examples, avoiding ambiguity by clearly associating them with the argument made.
task achievement
Elaborate further on the potential benefits of both parents and schools in shaping societal values in children for a balanced view.
task achievement
Clearly stated opinion and covered both perspectives thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Organized structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion facilitates understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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