IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or a negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
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 century, technological advancement has improved drastically.
With each
Change preposition
Each
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 year
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 who
trevel
Correct your spelling
travel
 around the world, do it for the content rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 for themselves. Communication and the way we are interacting with each other is completely different from the way it was thirty years ago. With
era
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the era
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 of
electronics
Add a comma
electronics,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are more focused on what is happening online rather than in real life. It seems like a lot of things
people
Use synonyms
 are doing now comes from a wrong motivation.
Instead
Linking Words
 of
enjoing
Correct your spelling
enjoying
 the view of Niagra Falls
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 instance,
people
Use synonyms
 just take
Use synonyms
Add an article
a picture
the picture
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picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
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 and leave
instead
Linking Words
 of
actully
Correct your spelling
actually
 being present
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the moment. One of the main reasons
this
Linking Words
fenomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
occures
Correct your spelling
occurs
 is social media. It feels like we no longer take
Use synonyms
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
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 for memories, we do it for a post and to show everyone how fun it was when in reality we didn’t even
looked
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 at the place. Another reason why
this
Linking Words
 might happen is social
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
. When there is no real interest in a place but
eveyone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 is visiting so you have to
also
Linking Words
 do that. All
this
Linking Words
 is mainly driven
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 socials and
this
Linking Words
 is probably the main reason why it is happening.
This
Linking Words
dinamic
Correct your spelling
dynamic
 in society falls more on a negative side, rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 positive . Famous places are no longer appreciated and
people
Use synonyms
 seem to care more about how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 look rather
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
enjoing
Correct your spelling
enjoying
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 moment. Being focused on the pictures and what other
people
Use synonyms
 might think and say is something that
became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 a norm
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when in reality it is very important to stay present and notice what happening
around
Correct pronoun usage
around you
show examples
. Couple
years
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of years
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 ago I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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witnessed a very bad car crash, the first thing I
sew
Correct your spelling
saw
show examples
 is
people
Use synonyms
 are taking out their phones to record or take a
picture
Use synonyms
intead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of rushing to help or call an
ambulace
Correct your spelling
ambulance
.
This
Linking Words
 is a very negative
dinamic
Correct your spelling
dynamic
 and shows a lot
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 phones and other
device
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devices
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 impact our levels of humanity.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 very important to enjoy nature and the world around us not only for the
Use synonyms
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
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 and
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
. Refocusing
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 reality and
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 moment will be beneficial for ourselves and
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who are
around
Correct pronoun usage
around us
show examples
. Taking
Use synonyms
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
 and not looking at the place sounds very simple and
non dangerous
Add a hyphen
non-dangerous
show examples
, but
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thinking about why it is happening raises a lot of fundamental questions and who are we as humans and society.

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general
Improve grammatical accuracy by reviewing subject-verb agreement and verb tenses.
task achievement
Make sure examples are explicitly stated to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Clarify the link between technological advancements and the motives for taking photos without experiencing the places.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow in arguments by organizing points more cohesively.
general
Use varied sentence structures to enhance the complexity of ideas.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, addressing both why the trend is happening and whether it is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
Includes a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Attempts to connect the phenomenon to broader societal changes, hinting at a deeper level of analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Visual content
  • Landmarks
  • Likes and followers
  • Selfie
  • Trophy
  • Validation
  • Accomplishment
  • Technological advancements
  • Smartphone cameras
  • Photography-focused tourism
  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
  • Immersing
  • Local economy
  • Cultural significance
  • Backdrops
  • Photographic evidence
  • Overcrowding
  • Wear and tear
What to do next:
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