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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Over the years, rural folks/citizens/residents have migrated to
cities
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 and decreased the
population
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 in their hometowns.
This
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 phenomenon is primarily caused by a lack of working sectors combined with
population
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 growth over time. In my view, moving from rural areas to downtown leads to negative consequences for both individuals and society as a whole. Owing to basic human needs, many rural citizens believe that moving to metropolitan areas will fix problems
such
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 as job vacancies and access to foodstuffs. In remote areas, it is often difficult to obtain enough salaries to support their family needs, as the sharp increase in
population
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 will affect the circumstances in big
cities
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. Since housing and transportation are basic needs, it has become a problem
due to
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 limited area that will force natives to adapt in a short time.
Although
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 natives can follow the change of circumstances, it is arduous to bring back their lifestyles.
For instance
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, native residents usually use public transportation for work and groceries.
However
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, when the situation
being
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is
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 crowded it makes an inconvenient situation.
As a result
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,
this
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 case might cause the natives to use their private vehicles and lead to traffic problems.
Hence
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, the migration of rural people to big
cities
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 leads to a negative domino effect in the future ,
for example
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, increasing the number of jobless
among
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apply
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citizens. In conclusion, the migration of rural people from the villages to big
cities
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 caused a significant amount of drawbacks after the
population
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 growth.
For instance
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, overcrowding and unemployment will lead to negative development.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and data to strengthen your argument, particularly when discussing job vacancies and the impact on housing and transportation. Specific data or examples can enhance your point about the scarcity of jobs and resources in rural areas.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent terminology when referring to 'rural people' and 'natives' to avoid confusion. Choose one term and use it consistently throughout the essay to help clarify your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear argument with an introduction and conclusion, which frames your position effectively.
coherence cohesion
The connection between urban migration and consequences like overcrowding and unemployment is well established, making your reasoning clear and logical.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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