In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for goverments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. to what extent do you agree or disgree with this opinion?
The debate over whether experiencing health issues
due to
overconsumption of junk Linking Words
food
is an actual topic Use synonyms
for
nowadays.It is suggested thatChange preposition
apply
,
Remove the comma
apply
Add an article
the authority
authority
should exaggerate Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
level
of Add an article
the level
taxes
on Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
food
products.From my own consideration, Use synonyms
i
concede thatChange the capitalization
I
,
it is possible to disagree to a negligible extent, but I mainly agree with the given statement for more plausible reasons,Remove the comma
apply
such
as higher Linking Words
taxes
encourage individuals to tend to healthier alternatives.
It is true thatUse synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
way alone is not enough.Governments should increase Linking Words
availability
and affordability Correct article usage
the availability
for
healthier options,especially for low-income people.I Change preposition
of
also
believe thatLinking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
approach directly Linking Words
effect
from negative side Correct your spelling
affects
for
Change preposition
of
campaign’s
financial situation.Most fabrics,Correct article usage
the campaign’s
restaurants
would prevent Correct word choice
and restaurants
to
Change preposition
apply
this
taxation system with some meetings Linking Words
to
Change preposition
with
government
, it has Correct article usage
the government
adverse
impact Correct article usage
an adverse
for
Change preposition
on
economical
issues in the country.
Replace the word
economic
On the other hand
, the other option,which is more appropriate Linking Words
with
my opinion is that,because of highlighting Change preposition
in
a mount
of Correct your spelling
amount
taxes
, junk Use synonyms
food
restaurants Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
cost
of meals, Correct article usage
the cost
thus
people are discouraged from purchasing Linking Words
this
type of Linking Words
products
.By making fast Fix the agreement mistake
product
food
less accessible, the administration inspires Use synonyms
member
of the public to choose nutritional edibles.
Manufacturing Fix the agreement mistake
members
this
kind of Linking Words
food
causes some diseases, Use synonyms
for
Linking Words
instance
diabetes,Add the comma(s)
instance,
heart
problems.If it comes severe level of illness, it immediately Correct word choice
and heart
influence
their work life and career path.Change the verb form
influences
Hence
,it would be challenging for Linking Words
overall
Linking Words
wellbeing
in their life stage.Correct your spelling
well-being
Additionally
,Linking Words
government
should Add an article
the government
funding
campaigns, subsidies, Replace the word
fund
educational
conferences to promote healthier Correct word choice
and educational
food
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
downsides Linking Words
of
Change preposition
to
high
level of taxation,Add an article
the high
a high
i
Change the capitalization
I
mostly
in favour ofAdd a missing verb
am mostly
that
, the authorities Correct pronoun usage
apply
should set
up Wrong verb form
setting
increasing
number of Add an article
an increasing
taxes
for declining healthcare issues.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs to enhance clarity and flow. Use topic sentences to clearly state the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable to the readers.
task achievement
Although you have a clear position, ensure your ideas are expressed in a comprehensive manner, avoiding ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear position on the topic, with a logical progression from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
You suggest plausible reasons for your stance, such as encouraging healthier alternatives which enriches the content.
coherence cohesion
You've included a well-structured introduction and conclusion that reinforce your viewpoint effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.