Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue?
It is true that nowadays, a slim young woman is showcased as an ideal model through the media.
However
, Linking Words
this
trend causes several drawbacks to society, but I think, informing Linking Words
people
about the Use synonyms
people
to like their body, Use synonyms
while
motivating them to achieve a healthy lifestyle, can tackle Linking Words
this
challenge.
on the one hand, introducing ideal pictures of women is often associated with various challenges. Linking Words
Firstly
, young women compare themselves with these high standards which Linking Words
consequently
leads them to Linking Words
doing
risky surgeries to be fit and reach those high standards. Change the verb form
do
Secondly
, Linking Words
this
tending to perfectionism, brings various mental problems for individuals. Linking Words
Otherwise
, It can degrade the self-confidence Linking Words
in
females, which hinders them from Change preposition
of
present
actively in Society. Add a missing verb
being present
Lastly
, society, especially men may expect those high standards from their wives or girlfriends, which causes many interaction problems.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
, I think Linking Words
people
can be informed through many ways to be aware of the drawbacks of Use synonyms
this
ideal model. In school, young girls should learn that a healthy lifestyle would be the main extent of their happiness in their life, not just posing a special weight, or Linking Words
apparent
. Replace the word
appearance
In addition
, communication can play a crucial role in avoiding creating discontent in females. Linking Words
For example
, stop Linking Words
the
judging Correct article usage
apply
about
their appearance, Change preposition
apply
Correct word choice
and hinder
hinder
them Wrong verb form
hindering
to do
many surgeries. Verb problem
from
Moreover
, media and books not only can promote healthy lifestyles among Linking Words
people
, but Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
raiseawareness
about the risks of cosmetic surgeries to Correct your spelling
raise awareness
people
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
Although
showcasing the images of young thin women as fine models can cause many problems, in my view, governments, communities, and the media can take measures to handle Linking Words
this
problem.Linking Words
Submitted by skharratian on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from using specific, real-world examples or studies to support the arguments presented. This would strengthen the task achievement score.
task achievement
Be sure to more clearly clarify some of the advice given. For example, how the media and schools can specifically work together to create awareness.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction does properly set up the essay by recognizing the issues at hand and hinting at solutions, it could better summarize these points.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words like 'therefore,' 'however,' and 'moreover' effectively to smoothly navigate between points and sections—this enhances logical progression.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing the problems and suggesting solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Good use of connecting words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'lastly,' which help to organize the main points.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...