IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?

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Nowadays, many organizations spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money on advertising to attract more
people
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's interest in consuming their products.
This
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 essay will show that it is more beneficial,
although
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 there are some drawbacks which can be easily prevented by utilizing several politics. If we look at it one way,
this
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 provides advantages for a company like
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in its recognition and
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
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.
Moreover
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, utilities
of
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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do not only touch organizations
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 their clients to meet their needs.
As a result
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, if a person is looking for any supply
for overcoming
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to overcome
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 his current issue, he can immediately decide to buy
product
Add an article
the product
a product
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 by seeing it
on
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in
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 advertisements.
For example
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, considering that there are a
lot
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 of
people
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 intending to travel abroad in Azerbaijan, a local plane
ticket selling
Add a hyphen
ticket-selling
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 platform called Aviasales which earns more and is more popular than others by doing lots of pop-ups on social media
such
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 as YouTube and Instagram, offers cheaper tickets, whose alternatives are very expensive in rivals. If we look at it another way,
this
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 brings some risks with itself which can cause
sinking
Correct article usage
the sinking
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 of the whole business.
In other words
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, producers will fail without being able to make a profit that will cover the cost of advertising, if
people
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 are not interested in products presented by them.
However
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,
this
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 problem can be simply solved by conducting production and advertising
according to
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demands
Correct article usage
the demands
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 of
population
Add an article
the population
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, and in the modern world, there are a
lot
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 of methods like electronic surveys to analyse these requirements.
For instance
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, until 2010, a game development studio named Sega in Japan caused
people
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 to stay away from its games owing to weak graphics and sounds regardless squandering a
lot
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 of money on flyers,
nevertheless
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, it has been one of the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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best-selling enterprises since
this
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 year
due to
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 stopping the wastage of financial resources and allocating
this
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 means for creating more realistic vision and audio effects in its games. In conclusion,
investition
Correct your spelling
investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 advertisements is more advantageous for both businesses and their users with some preventable disadvantages.
Therefore
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, I believe the benefits of
this
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 outweigh the negative sides.

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introduction conclusion
Expand the introduction to provide a clearer overview of your stance and the main points you will discuss. This will help set a more solid foundation for your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully explored. Some points, especially in the second paragraph, could benefit from further development to increase clarity.
logical structure
Some sentences are lengthy and complex, which may lead to confusion. Consider breaking them into shorter, more precise sentences for clarity.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and confidently states your stance on the issue, reinforcing your argument.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples, such as Aviasales and Sega, are used to illustrate main points effectively. These examples help to make your argument more relatable and concrete.
complete response
The essay acknowledges and addresses potential disadvantages, which adds depth to the argument by considering multiple perspectives.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising expenditure
  • consumer awareness
  • impulsive buying
  • economic impact
  • materialism
  • consumer debt
  • misleading advertisements
  • consumer trust
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