IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People are divided in their opinion regarding keeping wild
animals
Use synonyms
 in
zoos
Use synonyms
 or setting them free. Some believe that they should be held in
zoos
Use synonyms
 so people can enjoy watching them and understanding more about them,
while
Linking Words
, others oppose
this
Linking Words
 opinion claiming that
zoos
Use synonyms
 are an open prison to
animals
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall discuss both aspects in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs before forming an opinion. On one hand,
zoos
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in keeping
animals
Use synonyms
 which are about to extinct, as they protect them from and provide them with good living conditions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, visiting
zoos
Use synonyms
 is one of the most interesting outings for many families, where children have the chance to see wild
animals
Use synonyms
 and learn more information about them.
Additionally
Linking Words
, with the emergence of
Use synonyms
animals right
Fix the agreement mistake
animal rights
show examples
 laws in many countries,
zoos
Use synonyms
 have become more delicate in treating
animals
Use synonyms
, as they try to adopt wildlife features for the
animals
Use synonyms
 inside the zoo.
For instance
Linking Words
, they don't put
animals
Use synonyms
 inside cages anymore,
instead
Linking Words
, they provide them with big spaces where they can run freely as they used to in the jungle.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
 are living beings which have feelings and
get
Verb problem
are
show examples
 affected by surrounding circumstances.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those who disagree with the concept of
zoos
Use synonyms
, believe that locking
animals
Use synonyms
 inside
zoos
Use synonyms
 has many severe consequences on their health, including increasing the risk of diseases
such
Linking Words
 as depression which in some cases leads to their death.
For example
Linking Words
, studies have shown that the average of
animals
Use synonyms
 age decreases when they live at
zoos
Use synonyms
 because many of them get depressed and refuse to eat until they die. In my view,
although
Linking Words
zoos
Use synonyms
 captivate
animals
Use synonyms
' freedom,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, they preserve many
animals
Use synonyms
 from extinction.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that certain restrictions must be applied in
zoos
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, not all types of
animals
Use synonyms
 should be kept in
zoos
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they should be well treated and
zoos
Use synonyms
 should accommodate wildlife circumstances as much as possible
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, despite we all enjoy visiting
zoos
Use synonyms
 many
animals
Use synonyms
 are mistreated inside
such
Linking Words
zoos
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
zoos
Use synonyms
 should make their best effort to take care of
animals
Use synonyms
 and not lock them inside without offering them their basic needs in life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially in relation to the benefits and drawbacks of zoos.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents both views clearly.
introduction conclusion present
You concluded the essay with a clear opinion, summarizing key points discussed.
task achievement
The argument for and against zoos is discussed in balanced manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
What to do next:
Look at other essays: