Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #school #activities

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Children

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learn more from playing freely after school than from doing more organized after-school

activities

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. I agree with both viewpoints, but I believe that

children

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should balance between organized

activities

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and free play after school.

While

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it is essential for

children

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to focus on their education, dedicating all their time to studying can quickly lead to burnout. I think that a proper after-school routine should alternate between study and play. Some parents argue that

children

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should spend all their time studying, as their future depends on it.

While

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this

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is true to some extent, overemphasizing academics can harm

children

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's physical and mental health.

Children

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need time for relaxation and fun. If they focus solely on studying, they may miss out on important aspects of childhood,

such

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as developing social skills or engaging in physical

activities

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, which are crucial for their emotional well-being.

For example

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, my cousin started intense studying at the age of eight. His parents were very strict and didn’t allow him to participate in any recreational

activities

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. By the age of twelve, he was more knowledgeable than many seventeen-year-olds, but he lacked the ability to enjoy life. He missed out on opportunities to play with other

children

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and never experienced the joy of childhood.

This

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situation shows that there must be a balance between study and leisure. In my opinion,

children

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should spend three days focused on academics, three days engaging in sports, and one day resting and recovering.

This

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way, they can achieve both intellectual growth and physical well-being,

while

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also

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preserving their mental health and enjoying their childhood.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat Jan 18 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider offering a clearer stance in the introduction about whether you agree or disagree, as it seems to convey support for both sides equally.

Task Achievement

The essay could benefit from a clearer conclusion that restates your main argument more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Task Achievement

Relevant personal example effectively supports the argument about balancing study and leisure activities.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

262 words

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Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

University education should be free for everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniform and appearance of their pupils, while others schools have very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having school uniform? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?