IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many cities the construction of new houses and office buildings is not controlled. This leads to people building in whatever style they want without thinking about design. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some countries, the government should be controlling new apartments and offices which were built recently , anyway it is not a demand on the government. In my personal opinion, there are certain benefits , which are outweighed by the drawbacks One of the main problems associated with losing space for parks was planned for the future by the president.
In contrast
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,
this
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 is because people who work in the ministry are getting free places for parks, and entertainment for children but some businessmen attempt to purchase them at double the price costing that place,
for example
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,
instead
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 of a park, there will be a factory or small business with profit for the owner.
However
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,
this
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 is a result, of decreasing trees , air pollution and health issues which could influence our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 with most factors not controlled ground . Another factor is Getting money with the non-legal way of disadvantages which become popular among executives who have worked in
this
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 sphere for more than one year and who recently applied for
this
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 job and trying to earn money through
this
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 way without agreeing with local people or the main boss. Despite these drawbacks, the upside of controlling as far significant to show how the authority works legally following the order of the president. On the one hand, Indicating , how the state works in the country and how managers enhance control of staff in
this
Linking Words
 sphere and follow the rules of the georgic.
For instance
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, It tends that if the president is planned built a park there will park, Yet, Showing how significant citizens live in
this
Linking Words
 agrarian.
Moreover
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,They are demonstrating that staff work in a legal way and avoid any kind of not legal money from businesses who attempting to buy it and it comes with some benefit for our economy with the former seeing the biggest change in the homey In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 controlling new residents has several disadvantages, they are not as important as the advantages.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a singular clear idea. Use transitional expressions or linking words to smoothly guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement and ensure it directly answers the question – whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Reinforce this throughout your body paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay mentions some important disadvantages of uncontrolled construction, such as environmental impact and loss of recreational areas.
task achievement
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and the position is stated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • architectural diversity
  • dynamic cityscape
  • cultural expression
  • tailored buildings
  • sense of ownership
  • innovation
  • energy efficiency
  • bureaucratic processes
  • housing shortages
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure strain
  • traffic congestion
  • quality of life
  • cultural heritage
  • environmental impact
  • safety standards
  • structural weaknesses
  • natural disasters
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