The graph illustrates the various activities done by aged people (reading, hiking, theatre, watching tv, surfing the internet) in the USA to spend their leisure time from 1980 to 2010.

#activities #people #theatre #tv #internet #usa #leisure #time

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The graph illustrates the five types of leisure activities realized by seniors in their free time from 1980 to 2010 in

the

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apply

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America.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that throughout the years the mature age community

adapted

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adopted

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new hobbies

such

Linking Words

as hiking, surfing

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apply

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the internet, and reading.

While

Linking Words

they are less interested in going to theatres and watching

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. Focusing on outdoor activities, it is possible to observe that from 1980 just 20% of

elderly

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the elderly

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was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

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commited

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committed

practice

Wrong verb form

practising

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hiking, and it dramatically

rocket

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rocketed

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until

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80% in 2010. In

constrast

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contrast

, by the same time given, 50% of seniors used to go to the theatre in 1980, and it slowly decreased to 30% in 1990,

however

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, it slightly started to recover achieving 40% in 2010. The most favorite activity in 1980 was

to watch

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watching

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, but the trend changed over the years, from 1980 to 2000 it slowly increased to 70%, but from 2000 to 2010 we can observe

this

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number falling to 60%.

Theatre

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The theatre

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was the second most

favorite

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favourite

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leisure activity in 1980 (50%),

however

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, it fell to 30% in 1990

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and finished with 40%

at the end

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of the period. Surfing on the internet was the

less

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least

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realized activity

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the beginning of the period, but it

starts

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started

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to grow considerably until 2000, and

then

Linking Words

steadily rose to 50%

2000

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in 2000

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Submitted by nathmoura on Sat Jan 18 2025

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

222 words

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The graph illustrates the various activities done by aged people (reading, hiking, theatre, watching tv, surfing the internet) in the USA to spend their leisure time from 1980 to 2010.

Directors and managers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Buying things on the internet, such as books air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantage of shopping in this way weight the disadvantage