IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two charts
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 that young
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
attent
Correct your spelling
attend
 different
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of different age groups
students
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
attent
Correct your spelling
attend
 various types of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, we can see
people
Use synonyms
are enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoy
show examples
attenting
Correct your spelling
attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private studious. The percentage was the largest, it is 48%. The second largest percentage was
students
Use synonyms
 who
Use synonyms
attent
Correct your spelling
attend
after- school halls, it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 24%. The percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who take part in community halls or others and college-based studios are
Correct your spelling
respectively
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
 18% and 10%/ From the line chart, We can get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
attent
Correct your spelling
attend
 all kinds of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes.
Students
Use synonyms
 are under 11 years old, they are into learning Ballet best. The
number
Use synonyms
 is about 600 . The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who learn Modern is
least
Correct word choice
the lowest
show examples
, it is about 300.
Sudents
Correct your spelling
Students
 are between 11 and 16 years old, they are
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 Modern, the
number
Use synonyms
 is about 500. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who learn Ballet is
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
, it is about 300. About
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 Tap, the
number
Use synonyms
 of two
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
(
umder
Correct your spelling
older
 11 and 11-16) has little difference. The numbers are
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
 450 and 400. In conclusion,
students
Use synonyms
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 attending private studious to learn
dance
Use synonyms
 . Ballet is notably more popular among younger children,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
 modern
dance
Use synonyms
 attracts a larger
number
Use synonyms
 of teenagers.
Submitted by 13230556086 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, attent, dance, number, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: