IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think watching TV is bad for children in every way. Others think it is good for developing children as they grow up. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

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TV
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 is considered one of the best
maens
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means
 of
entertainmant
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entertainment
 in the
modren
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modern
 era as it offers numerous advantages.
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However
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However,
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 like any
technology
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technology,
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 it comes with
ceatin
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constant
 drawbacks. No technology is entirely free from flaws or negative effects that may harm
individual
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individuals
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 whether they are
children
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adults
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or adults
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. On
one
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the one
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 hand, some
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people
peopel
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people
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believe
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belive
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believe
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 that
TV
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 is entirely unsuitable for
children
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 as it wastes much of their
time
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 and engaging in physical activities
furthermore
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 sitting for long periods in front of the
TV
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 can lead to health issues
such
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 as impaired vision and back pain especially if the viewing
time
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 is excessively long
this
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 is without a doubt not beneficial for
children
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 when we consider these negative impacts it becomes evident that some argue logically that television is harmful to
children
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 as it causes various problems both physically and mentally it influences their behavior leading to irritability and mood swings
while
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also
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 diminishing their natural instinct to play
On the other hand
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, others tend to overlook these negative consequences and focus on the benefits
children
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 may gain from watching
TV
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 they argue that television broadens
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 imagination and enhances their cognitive abilities
Moreover
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 it can teach them valuable lessons on how to handle different situations in life
in addition
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TV
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 can provide
children
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 with educational content that they might not learn in school
thus
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 enriching their knowledge and expanding their cultural understanding From my perspective, I agree with both sides but on the condition that the watching
time
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 does not exceed one hour per day
children
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 should use their
time
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 wisely balancing entertainment with other activities so that they can create memories and enjoy their childhood they need to play interact with their parents and build friendships which help them develop their social and psychological skills excessive television viewing robs them of these opportunities and leads to health issues like back pain and poor eyesight In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 life is a constant battle between us and
time
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 and
children
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 must learn how to manage their
time
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 productively to be
well prepared
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well-prepared
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 for future challenges the
weiter
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writer
 is
leen
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lean

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task achievement
Make sure the essay includes relevant examples or case studies to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Consider using paragraphs to separate different viewpoints and your own opinion. This will enhance the clarity and flow of the essay.
task achievement
Try to be more precise and clear in expressing your ideas. Avoid any vague statements.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear comparison between the pros and cons of watching TV for children.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context by mentioning the modern era and the role of TV.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a personal standpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Negative effects
  • Physical health
  • Mental health
  • Excessive
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Obesity
  • Attention span
  • Cognitive development
  • Inappropriate
  • Violence
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Educational
  • Informative
  • Knowledge
  • Learning abilities
  • Diverse cultures
  • Languages
  • Experiences
  • Values
  • Life lessons
  • Bonding
  • Moderation
  • Parental guidance
  • Entertainment benefits
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