it is important to give children the opportunity to make decisions from an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a perspective that believes
the
importance of fostering independent Change preposition
in the
children
by offering Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
choice making
situations for them from their childhood. Add a hyphen
choice-making
However
, I agree that making Linking Words
samll routinal
decisions, Correct your spelling
small routine
improve
self confidence and cognitive skills of Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
children
, I Use synonyms
also
think it is important to take a balanced way, Linking Words
otherwise
helping them without inducing Linking Words
presure
on them Correct your spelling
pressure
by
Change preposition
in
conflicted
situation.
On the one hand, making Correct article usage
a conflicted
decision
from Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
early
age offers several benefits for Correct article usage
an early
children
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, they learn how their decisions are associated with the next consequences. Linking Words
Secondly
, making some simple choicesLinking Words
,
brings them self-confidence and improves their self-esteem, which Remove the comma
apply
help
them to become more independent adults in future in Change the verb form
helps
compare
to their peers who have not Replace the word
comparison
given
any chance to preschool decisions. Add a missing verb
been given
Lastly
, decision-making ability Linking Words
related
to other cognitive skills Add a missing verb
is related
such
as logical reasoning and critical thinking. Linking Words
In addition
, problem-solving skills, creativity and
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I think it is Linking Words
also
essential to help Linking Words
children
to make Use synonyms
decision
effectively considering some Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
condition
. It is important to avoid Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
put
them in front of complicated numerous options, Change the form of the verb
putting
whereas
the Linking Words
chid
could not make any decision. Correct your spelling
child
In addition
, in some Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
situation
it would be beneficial to aware Add a comma
situation,
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
from
the results of their Change preposition
of
each
choices. Correct determiner usage
apply
Moreover
, they should be taught the importance of Linking Words
cunsoltation
and think comprehensively before deciding.
In conclusion, I support the notion that it is important to provide decision-making Correct your spelling
consultation
situation
under limited conditions for Fix the agreement mistake
situations
children
to improve their hands-on experience from childhood, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
cultivated
the self-confidence in them.Wrong verb form
cultivating
Submitted by skharratian on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to include specific examples to further strengthen your arguments and evidence within the essay. This can help illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structures to enhance clarity. While the argument is understandable, refining language use can improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea to maintain logical structure across the essay. Some paragraphs could benefit from greater focus and transitions.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction that provides a clear statement of the writer's position, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed multiple aspects of the task, considering both the benefits of decision-making and its potential pitfalls for children.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example