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Band 5.5

The map below shows three possible locations for a leisure centre. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows three possible locations for a leisure centre. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The map demonstrates three different possible locations for a leisure centre. As you can see, three areas have a specific name:
region
Use synonyms
 A,
region
Use synonyms
 B, and
region
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
Region
Use synonyms
 A, there is a clear smoking emission from industries that are extremely close to the residential
area
Use synonyms
, making it easy for employees to reach their work or accommodations.
In addition
Linking Words
, the river appears in the southern
region
Use synonyms
 which extends to a residential
area
Use synonyms
. Location 'A' seems advantageous for residential convenience.
Region
Use synonyms
 B is located in the middle of the city between
Region
Use synonyms
 A and
Region
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
. It is a place where workers can find the apartments to stay in. But they might be feeling anxiety
due to
Linking Words
 crowded traffic jams.
This
Linking Words
area
Use synonyms
 is for rest and relaxation. Location B is for commercial accessibility.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Region
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 is placed in the most natural
area
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 green space is where employees and their family members have a chance to be happy and exercise every day. Location
C
Use synonyms
 for a tranquil environment suited for undisturbed leisure.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words region, c, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • residential area
  • commercial district
  • space constraints
  • costs
  • prime location
  • secluded
  • natural area
  • serene environment
  • remoteness
  • accessibility
  • transport facilities
  • advantageous
  • undisturbed leisure
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