IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.b

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that advertising has a huge effect on our
dession
Correct your spelling
decision
of buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
 things
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that its no longer has
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
.Despite how
advertisising
Correct your spelling
advertising
play
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 role in
markiting
Correct your spelling
marketing
 during the
last
Linking Words
centry
Correct your spelling
century
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think with the huge number of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
suppose
Wrong verb form
supposed
show examples
 to
chosen
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
wisly
Correct your spelling
wisely
 the time and place
of showing
Change preposition
to show
show examples
 it.
Body paragraph 1
On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand , promoting
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 through
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertising
 was the most creative and known way during the past years .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
 to catch
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 attention to certain
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 or
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.Advertising
Body paragraph 2
inclued
Correct your spelling
include
included
 many forms
such
Linking Words
 as print,
billborddisplay
Correct your spelling
billboard display
, television and social media advertising etc.
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 began in
16th
Correct article usage
the 16th
show examples
 and 17th
centery
Correct your spelling
century
 with a
news paper
Correct your spelling
newspaper
show examples
 and magazine
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
today with social media
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
.
there
Capitalize word
There
show examples
 is no doubt about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 important and
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
persuding
Correct your spelling
persuading
pursuing
 us to buy things.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , with high pace world and spread the
short
Change preposition
of short
show examples
 videos
in addition
Linking Words
 to
change
Correct article usage
the change
show examples
 in
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 ability to interact with
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of advertising ,old fashion ads no longer
take
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 attention.
Body paragraph 4
In my opinion, to keep
relaying
Correct your spelling
relying
show examples
 on advertising there is
amassive
Correct your spelling
a massive
 need to develop it to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, making promotion through social media by
inflouncer
Correct your spelling
influencers
influencer
, reel short or working on the product branding by using special
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 or element to present it that make it
stok
Correct your spelling
stick
in
people
Use synonyms
 mind.
Conclusion
In contrast
Linking Words
, no matter how the world
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
 the need for advertising is crucial ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 is require
Correct article usage
an adoubtive
show examples
adoubtive
Correct your spelling
doubting
 system
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
prefrencess
Correct your spelling
preferences
.

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language
Improve the grammatical accuracy by ensuring subject-verb agreement, correct word forms, and sentence structures. For example, instead of 'belive that advertising has a huge effect on our dession,' use 'believe that advertising has a huge effect on our decisions.'
organization
Develop clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to help guide the reader through the points being made.
example support
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially in discussing how advertising impacts purchasing decisions currently.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both views on advertising's effectiveness and provides an opinion on the matter, which aligns with the task requirements.
content relevance
The essay includes insightful comments on how advertising needs to adapt in the modern world, which demonstrates an understanding of contemporary issues in advertising.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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