IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most countries are compared by their economic success. Do you think there are some other important factors that need to be taken into consideration? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

#countries #success #factors #consideration
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Money is
one
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 of the most effective factors in any nation's worldwide image. It is argued that money is what makes countries great. I disagree and I believe that there are more crucial
aspects
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 to
rate
Wrong verb form
rating
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 a
country
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. On
one
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 hand, a strong economy is extremely vital for any
country
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 around the world. It is
one
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 of the main reasons to make a high-quality life for the citizens by building an advanced and modern infrastructure. The government can
also
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 provide free healthcare and a rigorous
education
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 system. Despite all the benefits of being a wealthy nation, I think that it is not enough.
On the other hand
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, there are several other
aspects
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 that must be taken into consideration
such
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 as culture and history since they will always be a part of a nation's identity.
Moreover
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, people are the real wealth of any
country
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 where they can improve and even raise their economy by their efforts and creativity. The
education
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 system is
one
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 of those
aspects
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 as well because it has a significant role in the welfare of the
country
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. In conclusion, I believe that a
country
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's wealth is as important as other
aspects
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such
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 as culture, human resources, and
education
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. Money,
however
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, will only help with city infrastructure, healthcare, and
education
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 system but it can not have any potential effect without proud citizens.
Submitted by ssaalahmari on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, as this can enrich the quality of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea which is consistently developed.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, neatly framing the discussion around economic success and other factors.
task achievement
The central thesis is well-stated, with a clear argument put forward against purely economic evaluations of countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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