IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/ unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter: * explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum * describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful * give details of when you would be available for work

#museum #home #people #work #director #skills #qualities
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Dear Sir/Madam, I trust you are doing well. The purpose of writing
this
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 letter is to express my interest
to do
Change preposition
in doing
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 part-time voluntary
work
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 at your museum. First and foremost, the major reason for doing
this
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work
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 is to connect with different types of people in
community
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the community
a community
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.
Besides
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this
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,
due to
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 my helping nature, I like to help humans who are in need.
Moreover
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, my great communication skills and friendly
as well as
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 kind nature would be beneficial in
this
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 role.
Additionally
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, I used to go for some charity
work
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 with my grandmother when I was in school.
As a result
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, I learned some skills, which would be useful for me during
this
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work
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. At
very
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the very
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Linking Words
last
Correct your spelling
least
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,
according to
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 my academic
schedules
Fix the agreement mistake
schedule
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, I would be totally available on weekends for
this
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 unpaid
work
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. Apart from that, I would
also
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 be happy to
work
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 as a volunteer during holidays
too
Rephrase
apply
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. I look forward to your prompt reply. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Dhruvi Patel
Submitted by ruchin27 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate slightly more on how your previous experience in charity work would be useful for the museum role.
coherence cohesion
You have structured the letter well, but consider providing clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The letter clearly addresses all parts of the task, explaining your reasons for wanting to volunteer, your relevant skills, and your availability.
task achievement
Your language is courteous and appropriately formal for a letter to a museum director.
coherence cohesion
You've used a polite greeting and closing, which are appropriate for the context.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enthusiastic
  • Volunteer
  • Part-time
  • Unpaid work
  • Museum director
  • Skills and qualities
  • Customer service
  • Organization
  • Team player
  • Flexible
  • Reliable
  • Positive attitude
  • Availability
  • Professional goals
  • Community contribution
  • References
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