30. An increasing number of people change their career and place of residence several times during their lifetime. Some people think that they shoul not change place to frequently while some think it useful to change places . Discuss your views on it.

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In
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
days, most of the
people
Use synonyms
referred to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
a stable life and did not want changes in their environments and careers, but
this
Linking Words
has changed now. Nowadays,
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
show examples
number of
people
Use synonyms
are changing their careers and
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
of living several times. It has both advantages and disadvantages,
that
Correct word choice
which
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I will elaborate on in
further
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paragraphs and give my opinion in conclusion. 
To begin
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with, with the advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology,
specially
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especially
show examples
in the sector of communication and transportation,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
can change their residences and careers easily. There are many plus points to that .
Firstly
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, a person
do
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does
show examples
not get
bore
Wrong verb form
bored
show examples
and remains enthusiastic
changing
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about changing
show examples
his work.
Secondly
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,
this
Linking Words
teaches
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
new skills that are beneficial for them.
Thus
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, increasing
people
Use synonyms
's knowledge and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
their thinking broader.
Moreover
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, changing
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
allow humans to enter social groups and new
friends
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friend
show examples
circles
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
help them
in achieving
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achieve
show examples
their goals by providing them
more
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with more
show examples
information about
respective
Correct pronoun usage
their respective
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fields.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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positives to not changing workplaces and living areas. First of all ,working
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same reason can make an individual more
scholar
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scholarly
show examples
,
pro
Correct word choice
professional
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and confident
at
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in
show examples
that particular area.
furthermore
Linking Words
, one who is staying
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a particular region, knows much better about the culture,
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
thinking and how
economy
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the economy
an economy
show examples
works there than those who keep on changing.  In conclusion, I think we cannot judge whether shifting workspace and residence are good for development or not . It totally depends on person to person.
human
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a human
the human
show examples
who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
shy get
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
from not changing their environment
while
Linking Words
human who are open
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to
toc
Correct your spelling
to
changes and get adapt to
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
quickly gets more
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
by shifting their
Correct your spelling
professional
proffersional
Correct your spelling
professional
area
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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task achievement
Be sure to provide specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate your ability to apply ideas contextually.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a clear logical structure throughout your essay. Each point should logically follow the previous one to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear understanding of the essay's goals.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of frequently changing careers and residences, showing a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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