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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graphs shows the destinations of anthropology graduates from one university. Summarize key information and make comparison where relavant.

The graphs shows the destinations of anthropology graduates from one university. Summarize key information and make comparison where relavant.
The pie chart depicts information about different employment types of
Anthropoplogy
Correct your spelling
Anthropology
graduates
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 and the table
illustrtates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
salaries
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 of Anthropology
graduates
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 after 5 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, more than half of Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 full-time and the rest
work
Use synonyms
 part-time. Half of
Anthropolohgy
Correct your spelling
Anthropology
graduates
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work
Use synonyms
 in the
government
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sector
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 and have the highest salary range and
graduates
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 who
work
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 in private companies have comparatively
low
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
salaries
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 than freelance
consultant
Fix the agreement mistake
consultants
show examples
 and those who
work
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 in the
government
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sector
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. 52% of Anthropology
graduates
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work
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 full-time. Only 15% of
graduates
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work
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 part-time. 5% of
graduates
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 are involved in part-time
work
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 and
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 employment. 8% of
graduates
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 are doing full-time
post graduate
Add a hyphen
post-graduate
show examples
 study and
the
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 there is nothing can be known about the rest 8% of
graduates
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. 12% of
graduates
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 are still unemployed. After 5 years, 50% of
graduates
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 who are working in
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 more than 1000000
salaries
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 and 30% of
graduates
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 are getting
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 range of 75000 to 99,999.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 30% of
graduates
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woking
Correct your spelling
working
show examples
 in private companies are getting
salaries
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more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than 100000. 40% of
graduates
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 are working in freelance companies are getting 100,000+
salaries
Use synonyms
. Only 5% of
graduates
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
working in both
freelance
Correct article usage
the freelance
show examples
 and
government
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
are getting
25,000
Correct article usage
a 25,000
show examples
-49,9999 salary range which is the lowest. `

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, salaries, work, government, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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