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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and now it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and now it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The map illustrates
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
 the general
library
Use synonyms
 looked like
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 years ago
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to now.
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be seen that the
library
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
was renovorted
show examples
renovorted
Correct your spelling
renovated
 and developed. By adding an information desk and a cafe for visitors
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
removing things and changing the rooms. The
library
Use synonyms
 20 years ago
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used to have tables and chairs in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 and books for children but now they removed the tables and chairs and replaced
children’s
Correct article usage
the children’s
show examples
 books
room
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
lecture
Correct article usage
a lecture
show examples
room
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, they added a cafe shop in the right corner for visitors to drink
while
Linking Words
 reading and
information
Correct article usage
an information
show examples
 desk
along with
Linking Words
 service machines between
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Cafe and the lecture
room
Use synonyms
 On the left side of the
library
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 used to be a reading
room
Use synonyms
 in
corner
Add an article
the corner
a corner
show examples
 beside the entrance they changed to
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 so people can enjoy reading using the technology. On the other corner there was a
room
Use synonyms
 for computer games and watching Videos they replaced with social events like storytelling and between these rooms there
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
reference books.
Submitted by m.ixi6006 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words library, room with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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