IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and the amount of time spent doing housework in
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in one country between 1920 and 2019. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain the information by selecting and reporting the main features
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and comparing between
percentage
Use synonyms
 of households with electrical appliances and the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework , per household during
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
a period
show examples
 of 1920 and 2019.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will talk about the
hours
Use synonyms
 per week they were spent and the electrical appliance.
first
Capitalize word
First
show examples
 of all, I will start with
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 1920 the people
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 primitive at that time so they were electrecal useless
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think because rare to be available at that time or it was expensive so the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of households was low.And in the
period
Use synonyms
 between 1940 and 1980 the
percentage
Use synonyms
it
Change preposition
of it
show examples
 was rising but approximately the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 .In 2000 and 2019 there was the significant rise and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 was at
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak
percentage
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 per week they spent was reduced
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
amount
 of all the
period
Use synonyms
. In the end whenever people demand to use electrical appliances they will spend fewer spending
hours
Use synonyms
 in
household
Add an article
the household
a household
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 93%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, hours, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: