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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and prediction for future years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and prediction for future years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#movement #people #areas #three #countries #prediction #future #years #information #features #comparisons
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The graph displays how people move from village to city in
Iran
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,
Indonesia
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, and
Russia
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Iran
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 has the highest
movement
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numbers
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 than any other country.
Indonesia
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 has the lowest
movement
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numbers
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,
while
Linking Words
Russia
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 has
movement
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numbers
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 that are a bit lower than
Iran
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. In
Iran
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, from 2000 to 2005 the
movement
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numbers
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 were relatively stable,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
movement
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 in
Russia
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 who moved from village to city from 2000 to 20005 was a dramatic increase nearly have from just over 10
million
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 to 30
million
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.
Indonesia
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 tripled from 10
million
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 in 2005 to 30
million
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 in 2020. It increased gradually from 2000 to 2020.
Iran
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 from 2005 the
numbers
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 was a significant increase and the
movement
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number
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 is predicted to be nearly 100
million
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 in 2025. In
Use synonyms
Russia
Add a comma
Russia,
show examples
 many people are moving to urban areas and it is projected the
number
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 of people will be nearly 90
million
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 in 2025,
while
Linking Words
Indonesia
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's
movement
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number
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 increased slightly from 2000 to 2020 which is tripled from 10
million
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 to 30
million
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 in
this
Linking Words
 period, and it is projected to be relatively stable in 2025.
Submitted by omarbasaedi736 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words iran, indonesia, russia, movement, numbers, number, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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