IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people claim that all experementation on animal is bad and should be outlawed . However , others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments , Can experimentation on animals be justifies ? Are there any alternatives ?

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Doing
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
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 on
animals
Use synonyms
 has been subject
for
Change preposition
to
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 many
debate
Change to a plural noun
debates
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 among
people
Use synonyms
 . Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that all animal testing is cruel and should be banned ,
while
Linking Words
 others believe doing
such
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
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 on scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 important . On the one hand , a positive
aspects
Correct the article-noun agreement
aspect
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 of doing
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
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 is that no
humans
Use synonyms
 will be harmed in the progress of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 scientific
researches
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research
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. In the past , doctors used
from
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apply
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their
patient
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patients
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 for new
kind
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kinds
show examples
 of treatment and it was cause for negative effects on
people
Use synonyms
 . An example of that
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 use of
animals
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
people
Use synonyms
 as research objects
has
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have
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 been solving many problems
on
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in
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 today's handling
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of deseases
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deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
.
This
Linking Words
approaches
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approach
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 already stepped forward compared to using
humans
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , we have to
do
Verb problem
get
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 more experience
for
Change preposition
with
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 new diseases .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , there is no usage for every
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a singular noun
animal
show examples
. Scientist should choose their
animals
Use synonyms
 carefully . Because
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the humans
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humans
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human
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 body does not
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as some
kind
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kinds
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 of
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animal's
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 structure .
For example
Linking Words
 , when
scoentist
Correct your spelling
scientists
scientist
 had experience
about
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apply
show examples
sleeping drugs on mice had
a bad effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a bad effect
bad effects
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 on
Use synonyms
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
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 sleep . Patients was coma after
received
Wrong verb form
receiving
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 that experimental drug .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
scientist
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scientists
show examples
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 be
awereless
Correct your spelling
awareness
 before doing
such
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
experinments
Correct your spelling
experiments
. In all , experiments with
animals
Use synonyms
 will be justified with valid aspects as it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advances
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 development.
However
Linking Words
, as the technology develops, better solutions could be explored to address ethical concerns.

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coherence cohesion advice
Improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and a concluding sentence.
task achievement advice
Provide more comprehensive ideas and robust arguments for both sides of the discussion. Consider exploring ethical, scientific, and alternative aspects in depth.
task achievement advice
Introduce specific examples that are directly relevant to your points made in the essay. This will help in linking your theoretical ideas with practical evidence.
coherence cohesion highlight
The essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, framing the discussion between the two opposing views on animal experimentation.
task achievement highlight
There is an attempt to address both sides of the argument which shows a balanced approach.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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