The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.Do you agree or disagree?

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The health problems caused by over-working have
became
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become

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a hotly discussed topic. Some people suggest that the balance between work and rest should be adjusted, and the workers deserve a properly extended
weekend
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I partially agree with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opinion. Decreasing the working hours is an effective solution to prevent overstrain. Even though more people are working in indoor environments nowadays, the exhaustion caused by long shifts remains significant.
According to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some scientific literature,
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overworking

The word over-working doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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over-working
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overworking

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is one of the main reasons that contributes to the depression of
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apply
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Correct article usage
apply

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the
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apply
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employees.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, extending the
weekend
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

so that workers are allowed to have a better rest is a directed solution targeting
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a longer
weekend
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is inclined to have positive impacts on workers’ mental health. A better work-life balance condition would allow the
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working class
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working class

The word working-class doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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working-class
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working class
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to have more personal time.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they could
spent
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spend

The verb spent after the modal verb could does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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time on leisure
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activities
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Fix the agreement mistake
activities

It seems that activity may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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activity
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activities
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and relaxation.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

would effectively
reduced
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reduce

The verb reduced after the modal verb would does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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Correct article usage
apply
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Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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the
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apply
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work-related stress,
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Wrong verb form
lead
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Wrong verb form
lead

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb leading. Consider changing it.

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leading
Wrong verb form
lead
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to
improve
Wrong verb form
improved

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb improve. Consider changing it.

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mental well-being.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I would suggest that a portion of workers should stay on duty,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as doctors, police officers and firefighters because
they
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apply

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are responsible
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for
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for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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on
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for
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dealing with emergencies. For
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

population with specialised duties, a more flexible working arrangement should be implemented. In conclusion, a longer
weekend
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would benefit
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workers’
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Change noun form
workers’

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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worker’s
Fix the agreement mistake
workers’
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mental health and reduce the risk of extreme exhaustion.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, for those responsible for urgent situations, a more flexible working system should be applied.

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language
Ensure consistency in verb tenses, e.g., use 'have become' instead of 'have became.'
content
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument, such as citing studies or statistics if possible.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
content
Main points are well-organized and supported with reasonable arguments.
critical thinking
The writer acknowledges possible exceptions and suggests solutions, which demonstrates the ability to consider various aspects of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: