Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some,
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

show examples
competitions
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause

It seems that the verb causes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
emotional stress for teenagers and adolescents.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they should not be allowed to participate in these activities. Competing in competitions comes with great benefits. I disagree with the statement and believe that it helps young people to have
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
discipline
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and learn to handle anxiety. It is a well-known fact that competing takes a lot of effort and practice. It is not only about
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work

The word hard-work doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
but it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

about
discipline
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In terms of preparing, you are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

learning to have
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
self
Add a hyphen
self-discipline

It appears that self discipline is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
discipline
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to win a swimming tournament, one has to wake up really early
everyday
Replace the word
every day

The word everyday may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
. To
elobrate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
celebrate

If you don’t want elobrate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, a swimmer's school schedule and swimming practice must go hand in hand. So,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way a sense of
discipline
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

grows.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these tournaments can be stressful and there is losing as much as winning. Participating makes
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
teenagers learn how to handle
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of pressure and anxiety.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I used to play in a volleyball team. Our team captain was crazy about winning the game, making us feel
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb stress. Consider changing it.

show examples
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

playing.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
time passed I learned how to handle it and focus on my work. In conclusion, even though competitions are stressful, they are beneficial for
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
teenagers. It leads to
discipline
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and helps them to feel calm when they are
Correct your spelling
under pressure
show examples
underpressure
Correct your spelling
under pressure

The word underpressure doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points more effectively. This will enhance the reader's understanding and engagement with your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and that transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth for better coherence.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on ideas further to increase the richness and depth of your explanations, which will make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear stance on the topic, which is consistently maintained throughout.
task achievement
You used personal experience as an example, which adds authenticity to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional resilience
  • teamwork and leadership skills
  • self-esteem
  • perseverance
  • emotional stress
  • coping with pressure
  • physical health
  • obesity
  • support systems
  • balanced approach
  • life skills
  • academic pressures
  • adversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: