IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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The fluctuation in car ownership has led to severe traffic crowds in many urban areas worldwide.
This
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 statement not only affects the efficiency of
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems but
also
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 contributes to environmental breakdown.
To begin
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 with, one of the most effective ways to reduce auto dependency is to invest in public
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems. By expanding bus and train networks,
increasing
Correct word choice
and increasing
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 service frequency governments.
For example
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,
cities
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 like Tokyo and London in 1994 have made major investments in their subway systems, resulting in efficient services. Improved public
transportation
Use synonyms
 not only eases traffic jams but
also
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 reduces environmental impact by lowering the number of motors on the road. Urban planning plays a crucial role in reducing motorcar dependency as well. By designing
cities
Use synonyms
 that prioritize walkability and cycling, governments can encourage residents to choose these healthier and more sustainable modes of
transportation
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.
Cities
Use synonyms
 like California in 1995
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
invested heavily in cycling infrastructure, including dedicated bike pathways and programs or apps about biking, resulting in a significant increase in the number of people commuting by bicycle. Each of these strategies offers specific solutions that can help decrease
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
while
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 increasing a more livable urban experience. In conclusion, the rapid increase in automobile ownership has led to significant traffic challenges in urban areas. To address
this
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 issue, governments must adopt a versatile way that includes investing in public
transportation
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, reconsidering urban planning, and encouraging the use of electric vehicles. By taking these steps,
cities
Use synonyms
 can create a more efficient and sustainable
transportation
Use synonyms
 landscape for their population.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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coherence cohesion
Work on making the logical structure more evident, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Develop ideas slightly more to ensure they are comprehensive and clear.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic well and provides a clear conclusion.
task achievement
The essay covers public transportation and urban planning well with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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